Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Reflections on Life


I am happy to welcome Lizzy S to this blog as my beta or in other words, proof-reader and person generally in charge of cleaning up the little messes that you all so often kindly ignore. Lizzy is a college student in Wisconsin and I appreciate her help enormously! Please help me to welcome her and thank her for her efforts!

Chapter Sixty-One

Tamara and I were finishing our second glasses of wine when the boys came in to see us, their game evidently over. Mark kissed Tamara as Adam did the same to me. Mark grabbed a couple more wine glasses and went to pour some for him and Adam, only to find the bottle was empty.

“Whoa. You two doing okay? A whole bottle already,” he laughed, and Adam raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Gee Mark, do you have any idea at all what time Sarah and I got home?” Tamara asked, trying to keep a straight face.

“Uh, I don’t know; maybe 10 -15 minutes ago?” he guessed, looking at the clock behind Tamara.

“Oh, try 1 hour and 15 minutes ago, bud.”

“Holy shi--, uh, really?” he asked, looking at Adam as if to say “can this be possible?” Adam shrugged and looked at me, trying to see if it was true.

I grinned and said, “Sorry Adam, but she is telling the truth. You boys have been playing so hard you didn’t even notice!”

Tristan and Geoff had greeted Tamara and then me with hugs, but they decided enough time had been wasted and together chorused, “We’re hungry! When is dinner?” They glanced around the kitchen looking for any dinner preparations, and when they couldn’t detect any they both looked a little worried.

Tamara reassured them, “We’re going to have Chinese for dinner; how does that sound, guys?”

“Oh good!” Tristan said. “I want almond chicken and uh, egg rolls and everything!”

“Me too,” put in Geoff. “’Cept I want sweet and sour chicken and crab Rangoon.”

“Okay, okay,” Tamara said, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. “Let me write this down.” Everyone spoke up and added to the order until I was positive there was ten times too much food, and then I looked at who was here and laughed. I wasn’t sure there was such a thing as too much food with this group.

Tamara called in the order and they said it would be 45 minutes until delivery, so we prepared to wait. Mark grabbed another bottle of wine out of the fridge and poured some for himself and Adam and looked as if he wasn’t sure whether he should pour more for Tamara and me. I just smiled and said thanks as he decided to pour some more for us; this was turning into a lovely day and I felt like getting a little tipsy. Besides, I decided, Adam will probably work it out of me later.

Adam leaned down and kissed me once again, a slower, deeper kiss this time, and pulled his mouth away with a puzzled look on his face. He licked his lips and finally exclaimed, “You had chocolate!”

I giggled and replied, “Yes, chocolate ice cream in fact!”

“Oh, you’re cruel. Mama Moo’s, I suppose?” he asked, looking positively glum.

“Yes, it was wonderful,” I teased. “Chocolate cherry amaretto and cookies and cream!”

“Two scoops? Awww,” he groaned. “Not fair, not fair at all.”

I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair and sympathized, “Poor Adam. No chocolate for him!”

Mark and Tamara were watching this exchange with amusement; both were aware of Adam’s penchant for chocolate.

“She totally spoiled me in Wichita. Had chocolates from a local place that I would have murdered for; completely luscious, really…” he said, shaking his head in fond memory of it.

“I’ll have some there at Thanksgiving, I promise. Oh, and Tamara, there is a lovely bed and breakfast about a block from my house, very old and quaint, and I went ahead and booked a suite for you all; I hope that was okay? You can go online and check it out; it’s called The Inn at the Park, in the College Hill area where I live.”

“Oh Sarah, it sounds wonderful. I’ll check it out.”

“Daddy, are we going to stay with you in Wichita?” Geoff asked, looking back and forth from Adam to me.

Adam looked at me and said, “We’ll talk about that when you get there, okay?” None of us said anything; we weren’t sure what to say. All we could do was hope this was all taken care of by then, but at less than a month away it didn’t seem very likely to any of us.

Geoff’s lower lip quivered a bit, but he just said okay, and he and Tristan went off to play until dinner got here.

After they were out of the room Tamara asked Adam, “Did they badger you about staying all night?”

“No, not too much. They asked and I told them that I didn’t know what Sarah and I might be doing and that we would spend the whole weekend together. That seemed to satisfy them. I know it’s for the best, but it still upsets me, Tamara. It’s the right thing, I know, but…” he trailed off.

His hand was lying on the counter next to his glass of wine. I reached out and held it, squeezing it gently. He looked at me and smiled then, and I could see that he accepted it; he just didn’t like it.

“So, what did you do today?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“I took the car in for servicing, you know, the oil changing bit and such.”

It still seemed amazing to me that he did perfectly ordinary things like that; getting the car serviced, going to the market. It definitely wasn’t the image that most people had of celebrities, that’s for sure. I guess we just expect that those things get done magically or by someone they pay to do it. That is probably the case sometimes, but Adam is definitely a hands-on kind of guy; he wants to make sure it’s all done the way he wants, which made me think back to Tamara’s comments earlier about him and kitchens. It would be interesting to see how long he could hold out against the chaos and disorganization of my kitchen. Generally I’ve not noticed him to be terribly neat. He can leave towels, shoes, and socks lying around with the best of them, I remembered with a laugh.

I don’t know if the view I have of Hollywood lifestyles is accurate or not. True, the only up close and personal views I have had are Adam and Tamara and Mark. I looked around Tamara’s house, and while it was big and lovely, she still did her own cooking. I was sure she probably had a housekeeper or someone who comes in like Adam does, but they lived pretty normally really. They didn’t have chauffeurs and assistants running around. I was sure that between them they had the money for that infamous Hollywood lifestyle, and yet that isn’t the life they lead. I admired them for that a great deal, and my provincial mid-western outlook said that is definitely the best thing for the kids; I also knew that there had to be times when Hollywood insinuates itself deeply into their lives. I was thinking about awards shows and stuff. Mark has won an Oscar, Tamara has been nominated, and even though he hasn’t won an Oscar, Adam has been nominated and has won BAFTA and Golden Globe awards. They had done the red carpet thing at some point, so they have had those glamorous times, and I wondered how it would feel to be in the limelight like that with Adam: the glare of lights and cameras flashing, the interviews and parties. Would I fit in?

Could I fit in?
It took me a few moments to realize that Adam was talking to me. I looked around at their faces, all regarding me curiously. “Sarah,” Adam was saying, “Sarah!”

“Oh sorry, I was just wool-gathering, I guess. What did you say?” I asked, trying to shake loose the thoughts that were plaguing me right then. I felt a guilty flush spread across my face, and I wasn’t even sure why.

“I asked if you had a good shopping trip.” Adam repeated for me. He reached over and touched the side of my face softly; I decided he must have thought I was having dirty thoughts since I had blushed. I observed the way Tamara and Mark were both looking at me and realized they thought so too. I decided to just ignore all their speculation and answer the question.

“Uh yeah, I did. We had a great time,” I stated, looking at Tamara and seeing her nod in agreement. “It was fun, and productive too, I might add. No more running around wondering what to wear!”

“Well then, here’s to happy women,” Mark said, raising his glass and then leaning over and kissing Tamara. Her eyes lit up when he did that, and it was so nice to see. I don’t think Mark is as demonstrably affectionate as Adam is, or maybe he is just uncomfortable displaying it in front of Adam and me. He and Tamara are so much in love; it’s obvious to see, and I knew that she was very happy with him. They made a good couple; that balance thing that Tamara talked about clearly wasn’t a problem for them. I was intrigued by their relationship, maybe much more than was good or healthy for me, but I did look forward to seeing what the future held for them, if they would get married or not. Tamara hadn’t said anything about that, and neither had Adam.

“Yes,” Adam repeated, “To happy women.” He flashed me his dimple smile and I just melted, right then and there. I smiled back and mouthed, “I love you” and he said the same thing back. And for that moment we were all alone in the world.

The boys came running back into the kitchen right then, looking around to see if dinner was here yet. I had to smile because even though they were obviously disappointed, they didn’t say a word about it. They stood there around the breakfast bar and looked at us all sitting there. They probably thought just sitting and talking was boring, but I was having the best time. Tamara and Mark were on one side of the counter, and he had his arm around her; Adam and I were on the other side holding hands.

“So Tristan,” I said, “Are you ready for your game tomorrow? I can’t wait to see it.”

He swiped the air with his hand imitating a paw and growled, “Tigers rule!” and I laughed hard; it was just so cute. He had the team spirit thing down quite well.

Geoff immediately imitated the gesture with a fierce growl of his own and Tristan said to him, “You aren’t a Tiger, you can’t do that!”

“Can too!” Geoff yelled. “Mommy says I can have team spirit, even if I’m not on the team. Ain’t that right, mommy?”

“Isn’t, not ain’t, Geoff. And yes, Tristan, you should be proud that your little brother wants to show spirit for your team. It’s very kind of him,” she said as she watched Tristan’s face go from outrage to acceptance.

“All right, you can growl if you want to, Geoff,” Tristan finally agreed. Then his face came alive and he taunted, “You can be a baby Tiger!”

“I ain’t no baby!” Geoff screeched in indignation. “Mommy, am I a baby? I ain’t no baby, Tristan!” A big tear slipped down his face, which only gave his brother more fuel.

“Are too. Look, you’re crying like a baby,” Tristan said, in the way of big brothers the world over as they look for a weakness in a younger sibling to take advantage of.

Tamara slightly shook her head, as if she had heard this same conversation many times. She and Adam shared a look of frustration, and Adam tried to hide a grin behind his hand. It was surprisingly Mark who handled the situation.

“Alright – enough. Both of you had better think about what you’ve said and then apologize. Tristan, why did you say that to Geoff?”

Tristan defiantly looked at Mark before answering, “Cuz he hangs around all the time and my friends laugh at me.” He cast a baleful look at Geoff, who wiped the tears off of his face and stared back at Tristan.

“I just want to be like you, Tristan, you’re good and you don’t even cry when the ball hits you,” Geoff said, explaining his feelings.

We were all quiet as Tristan thought over what Geoff had said. He seemed to accept it and finally said, “Geoff, maybe someday you can play too, I guess, when you get bigger. I’m sorry,” he apologized. Geoff’s face brightened immediately and then Tristan added, “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Did not!” Geoff yelled.

“Did too!” Tristan exclaimed loudly.

We were saved then by the doorbell. Tamara immediately stood up to answer it and Mark followed, throwing a look at the boys over his shoulder as he left the room. They were standing there glaring at one another; both of them had their hands clenched into balls at their sides.

“All right, you two,” Adam said. “If you want any dinner you had better go and wash your hands and behave in a civil manner towards one another, or you’ll get no dinner. Do you understand me?”

Two sets of eyes widened at their father’s threat. Richland men take their dinner very seriously and if their dad made that threat, he meant business; they both knew that. Wordlessly they left the room to go wash their hands.

“I don’t know why those two can’t just treat each other with respect. Honestly, you’d think they had been raised by baboons or something,” Adam muttered after they had left the room.

“C’mon Adam, you mean that you and Aidan got along all the time? Aidan never followed you around, and you never got upset if he did?” I asked skeptically.

“No – well, I,” he closed his mouth as soon as it opened and he thought about his answer for a moment. “I suppose I did. It just bothers me to see them do it, that’s all. They’re brothers.”

“Yes, they’re brothers, but they’re also just kids, each one trying to establish who they are, and at that age you are at least partially defined by your friends and how you act. That’s all. They’ll grow out of it. Don’t take it all so seriously,” I told him.

Tamara and Mark came back in carrying several huge bags of Chinese take-out and sat them down on the counter. Mark went to the cabinet and grabbed plates while Tamara opened the bags and started pulling boxes out. I took the plates and silverware from Mark and went to set the table. I could already smell the food, and it smelled wonderful, I thought.

The boys came back in after that and were chatting about the game they had played as if the earlier blowup had never happened. I smiled to myself and thought how resilient kids are. They had let it go already, and I could see that Adam was still fretting about it. He was pouring milk into glasses for the boys and watching them on the sly, trying to see if they really were going to get along.

We got all the food over to the table, and there was a huge variety of dinner choices. Along with the silverware, Tamara pulled out some chopsticks and looked at me and then motioned to Adam with her eyes. I nodded my head and grinned. Her head tipped briefly towards Adam, and we both laughed. Adam missed the whole exchange, but he turned around at the sounds of our laughter.

Tamara held up a pair of chopsticks and questioned, “Adam?”

I was pressing my lips together tightly and trying so hard not to laugh. Adam took them and said, “Just give me the bloody things, will you?”

She handed them to him without a word and we all sat down quietly. The boys picked up their napkins and laid them across their laps, looking at all the food expectantly. Tamara smiled as she gave the boys their choices, which I noticed varied from what they had requested earlier. I saw that it didn’t seem to slow them down a bit, though, as they both started eating.

There was a wide variety of dishes to choose from; along with the standard fried rice there were several kinds of chicken dishes, orange beef, sweet and sour pork, moo goo gai pan, and some kind of spicy shrimp, as well as egg rolls, spring rolls, crab Rangoon, and fried dumplings. Let me just say that it looked like way too much food, and yet in the end it wasn’t.

Adam muddled through a bit with the chopsticks and then gave up and reached for his fork. Mark smiled at him because he had been using his fork all along. Again the boys amazed me with how well-mannered they were at the table. They didn’t talk with their mouths full or interrupt conversation; they used their napkins frequently as well. And they were getting along like best friends.

The talk had gone back to the soccer game again, but this time it was peaceful. Tristan was giving a play-by-play recap of his last game with frequent interruptions by Geoff, but Tristan didn’t seem to mind this time.

I could only hope that this trip went smoothly. We both needed it to; we were both very stressed. I could see it in Adam’s demeanor today. He didn’t seem to have as much patience, I thought, as I thought back to the boys’ behavior earlier. Not that I would have reacted any differently with Derek and Lissa, really; it’s a normal parental thing, wanting your kids to get along with each other. I wondered about him letting Mark handle it at first. That was interesting to me and actually told me a couple of things: that he trusted Mark to handle it fairly, and that he was comfortable letting him do it.

And Mark was obviously comfortable doing it. He didn’t hesitate or look to Tamara or Adam for approval before stepping in, either. That showed me that he had a vested interest in this family group, so to speak, and that he planned on being a part of it. So maybe there will be a wedding for those two, I thought with an inward smile.

I also thought about the unusual circumstances of the relationship between Adam and Tamara and how Mark and I fit into it all. I had to admit that in my experiences and from listening to family and friends talk about inter-family relationships, this was an unusual situation: Adam and Tamara still being friends and working for the best possible interests for the boys, both of them accepting and even welcoming new partners into the mix. Adam trusted that Tamara wouldn’t bring in someone who wouldn’t want the best for the boys, and Tamara trusted the same for Adam. And that’s pretty amazing.

I couldn’t see any resentment in Tamara’s attitude towards me and I knew that Adam had none about Mark. He seemed to be genuinely happy for Tamara and Mark and enjoyed both of their company. He didn’t feel awkward about the family situation – that is, Mark living here with Tamara and the boys – or jealous about any relationship that they had, together or with the boys. And Tamara gave no indication of being jealous of me either.

What I didn’t understand was how they all did it. Most ex-spouses wouldn’t, that’s for sure. Is it really just a matter of recognizing that you aren’t well suited and then accepting it? Of wanting that other person to be happy and then being happy in turn when they find that happiness with someone else?

I wouldn’t care a bit if Randy got remarried or not, but the reason for that is that I don’t care about him at all. I can tolerate him on the rare occasions when I see him, because he is no longer in my heart at all, almost like he never was. It’s a form of complete indifference. Sometimes I look at him and marvel at the fact that we were actually married for all those years. He seems to be a complete stranger to me; that’s weird, I know.

But Adam and Tamara still had feelings for one another; they were wonderful friends and shared the joys of parenthood with little fussing, at least as far as I could tell. And it seemed genuine to me, it really did.

I tried to focus back on the dinner conversation, which was still about soccer. Apparently this game Saturday was an important one; if the Tigers win they’ll go into the semi-finals. They seemed to have a good coach from what Tamara and Mark said; he cared more about the welfare and fairness of the game than the winning, and that gave the team an extra bit of help. It helped to erase anger and jealously if all the kids got to play, and they did, the coach made sure of it.

The discussion finally wound down, and the boys went off to watch TV for a bit while we got the kitchen cleaned up. That didn’t take long, and soon all was put away and the dishwasher was humming.

Adam turned to me and asked, “Sarah, are you ready to head home? I’m beat,” he admitted.

“Sure. Tamara, is there anything else that needs to be done?”

“Nope. And you do look tired, Adam. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just tired. It’s been stressful lately. Sorry if I was a grouch.”

“No, you weren’t. Go home and just chill out. And try not to worry about anything, okay? Whoever is doing this is still in Texas, they have to be.” She reached up and hugged him and then hugged me as well.

Mark held his hand out to Adam and they clasped hands and Mark reached out and put his other hand on Adam’s arm. “Hang in there, Adam, the police will get to the bottom of it all, we have to believe that. And you know you can call me if I can do anything, okay?”

Adam nodded silently as I hugged Mark goodbye. “Take care of him Sarah, make him snap out of his funk,” Mark whispered in my ear. I nodded and said aloud, “Thanks so much for the evening. I had such a great time. And thanks for the help shopping, I appreciate it a lot,” I added.

At the front door Adam called out to the boys, “Tristan, Geoff, we’re leaving. Come and say goodbye.”

Both boys came running into the entry way for hugs and kisses. I was again included, and that felt so good. These two little guys were quickly stealing my heart, I realized, and it felt really wonderful.

As Adam hugged Geoff, he said, “Now, we’ll see you both tomorrow morning, all right?”

“Can’t we spend the night with you tonight, daddy?” Geoff asked, his face suddenly sad.

Tamara stepped up then and said, “No, remember your dad and Sarah have plans.” Both of their faces looked crushed and she added, “C’mon, you’ll see them tomorrow morning, it’s only for one night!”

They both nodded and Adam and I left. I could tell he felt awful. I grabbed his hand as we walked out to the car, only letting it go when he opened the door for me. I stood up on my toes to give him a kiss, and he pulled me quickly and firmly into his arms and rested his head against my shoulder for a moment.

“It’s all right, Adam. It’s okay to be upset, though; you can talk about it.”

He let me go, and after I had sat down he closed my door and went around the car to get in himself. “Oh, where are all your purchases?” he asked, not seeing them in the car.

“Tamara and I took them by our house on the way here. They are all piled in our bedroom!” I laughed. “Oh, and I saw a wonderful little lingerie store in the mall.”

“Did you make any purchases there?” he inquired teasingly.

“No, we didn’t even go in. I – I felt kind of weird shopping for lingerie with her. Silly, I know.”

“Well, maybe we can make a trip ourselves,” he said, casting me a sidelong look.

I watched him shift gears in the car, his movements so confidant and purposeful. He handled the intense power of this car with the same attention and devotion he, well, that he handled me with. The thought was somehow exciting to me.

Kind of kinky really.

I wondered if there was anything this man could do that didn’t at least slightly turn me on.

Yeah, kiss Rachel Tomlinson, I thought miserably.

We headed out to the Pacific Coast Highway, and I watched as the shore drifted quickly by. I sighed as I thought about how much I had come to love this drive, this place in such a short time. I really could live here, I realized. Yes, I would miss my family terribly, there’s no excusing that. But somehow I felt as if I had come home when I came here the first time. Adam makes me feel like that too, and at first I thought that was what I was feeling, just the comfort of being with Adam. But it’s more than that; my soul just sort of comes alive here; I thrilled to the smells of the ocean, the sounds of the surf pounding against the shore, the cries of the sea birds drifting along on the air currents high above us.

Coming here would mean letting go of the life I had at home though, of the independence I prize so highly. How did I leave my job, my family and my friends, and if I did, what then? I didn’t think I could be some groupie type of person, following Adam around from job to job. I needed something of my own; I needed to feel that I was contributing to our relationship, that I was valued. And I couldn’t feel that if I did nothing. Could I just kiss him, then, and send him off to these movie sets and stay behind? Did I want to do that?

I leaned my head back against the headrest and another, bigger sigh escaped me, and it caught Adam’s attention. We were almost home when Adam said to me, “What’s wrong, love? You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet all evening. Did everything go well with Tamara?”

It would probably be a logical assumption that something hadn’t gone well with Tamara, but I smiled at that anyway. Tamara and I had had a wonderful afternoon. “Yes, Tamara and I had a lovely time, Adam. I like her so much. I suppose, though, that I’ve been a bit retrospective this evening. I’ve been thinking about lots of things.” I turned to look at him and smiled before adding, “Nothing to do with the, uh, situation. Family stuff, I guess.”

“Family stuff?” Adam asked as he pulled the car into the driveway. He tapped the steering wheel with his fingers as we waited for the garage door to open. “Are you worried or upset about something?” The door went up and we pulled into the garage and waited for the door to close before going into the house.

“No, not worried, Adam. Just, uh, intrigued is maybe a good word. Watching Tamara and Mark’s relationship, your relationship with both of them. You have to admit that it’s certainly not the norm.”

“True,” he said as he opened his car door and stepped out. I joined him, and we made our way into the house. We both headed straight for the bedroom as if by some sort of silent agreement, and I turned the light on so Adam could see the piles of packages on the bed. “You were busy. Did you find what you needed?” he asked, peeking into the different bags.

“Yes, and really even more than I needed. But that’s okay, I enjoyed it. Now I have clothes to hang around here in and stay cool!” I laughed. I started pulling everything out of the bags, thoroughly excited like a child at Christmas.

“Are you going to model them all for me?” he asked, lying down on the bed. He bent his elbow and rested his head on his hand and watched me sorting things out.

“No, there’s nothing here particularly enticing for you, Adam,” I laughed, and then added, “But I love it all.” I bent over and kissed him and then ran my hands through his mass of curls. I caught his eyes watching me, and I smiled and kissed him again and then lay down next to him, staring deeply into those chocolate eyes and getting lost.

“Shall we go down and get into the hot tub? Would you enjoy that?” he asked me.

“Mm hm, I would indeed.” I got up and started undressing right away. He lay there and watched me, his eyes heavy lidded and incredibly sexy. It wasn’t a surprise what was on his mind; it was certainly on mine too. I held my hand out to him, and he reached for it and got to his feet. He pulled me to him for another kiss, which I gladly gave him, and then I lightly pushed him away. “C’mon, we both need that hot tub. Get those clothes off, slowpoke!”

I grabbed my robe and headed downstairs. I decided we needed a bottle of wine and then I shook my head with disbelief over how many glasses of wine I had drunk this evening. Okay, so I would only sip on mine, but I still wanted some. I heard the stereo come on and Five for Fighting started playing. It seemed like a good choice to me as I opened the bottle and grabbed some glasses. Adam came downstairs in his robe and headed out the door to the tub. I grabbed the bottle and the glasses and followed him out and watched as he pulled the cover off and checked the gauges on the water.

He doesn’t turn the tub off when he’s not here, but he does turn it down. I watched him turn the temperature up, and we sat down on the double lounge to wait for the water to warm up a bit.

Adam poured our wine, and we both sipped quietly for a few minutes. I was beginning to feel the past few weeks wash off of me, I thought with joy. I’m going to just pretend that all is right with the world tonight, I decided as I took a sip of my wine. I watched Adam do the same thing and then settle back next to me, leaning his head back against the cushion. He turned his head to look at me, those sexy eyes half-closed again as he put his arm around my shoulders. I snuggled against him and let out a huge breath.

Peace was finally finding us.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Finding Peace

Chapter Sixty

Tamara was waiting for us at LAX as promised and I hugged her tight when we got to where she was waiting. So did Adam. And I noticed that all 3 of us had tears in our eyes. Adam and I were so happy to come home but we hated the situation that precipitated it.

Adam and I had talked and relaxed a bit on the flight to LA and that helped us both a lot. I can’t even imagine what he must be feeling; the humiliation of the situation alone is absolutely daunting, having Rachel go on like that in front of everyone. But that wasn’t all that was bothering him I knew; he was very worried about me and the boys and how to make sure we all stayed safe.

“Adam, we’ll just have to be cautious, that’s all. Maybe since it’s someone from the set they will have to stay in Dallas and the visit to California will be okay?” I suggested.

“I hope that’s true. But the other side of that is that it’s someone on the movie, which is horrible. I can’t imagine that it’s someone I work with everyday. Sarah, I really don’t think it’s Rachel, do you?”

“No, I really don’t either. I can’t see her doing that to a rat or any animal. Not that her anger couldn’t get the best of her, it just seems too extreme for her, to actually touch something like a rat, even to kill it. But you know, we could be completely wrong Adam and the police are right and it is her.”

“I just keep thinking about everyone on the set and who could have the motivation to do it. Rachel is the only one I can think of. I don’t have any kind of history with anyone else, except for Lyle – I’ve known him for probably 15 years, but there isn’t any bad blood between us. We’ve always worked very well together. And not to mention all the delays and problems this causes the movie and the expense. All that affects Lyle negatively and I can’t see him doing it.”

“It makes sense that it’s someone from the movie in one way though Adam; whoever is doing this does know where we are. Not everyone does, other than Tamara and my family. And since this started before we met I have to assume that my family isn’t involved. And it could never be Tamara. That doesn’t leave many choices, you know? It’s just that no one stands out, no one seems likely except for Rachel and the only reason she seems likely is because she is vocal about her feelings. It would seem to me that whoever is doing this wouldn’t be so vocal. Except that sometimes it is the most obvious person.”

“Yes, well think of what Sherlock Holmes said in The Sign of the Four, ‘When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.’” He smiled briefly and said, ”Yes I know that Sherlock Holmes wasn’t real, but there is certainly something to be said for the logic of that. What we need to figure out is who is improbable.”

“There are too many people who are improbable,” I said, thinking of the possibilities. “Rachel, Lyle, Tamara, all are improbable. For totally different reasons, but they are none the less improbable. But out of all the impossibles and improbables, they are the most likely, because of different circumstances, such as knowing where we were, which means they had opportunity. Heavens Adam, we could go around with this conversation and never solve a thing!”

“Yes, we could. Oh God Sarah, I just don’t know. If it’s not someone on the movie, how did they always know where we were? Someone from my past, I just don’t know about. No one comes to mind at all. Damn,” he said, running his hand through his hair for the hundredth time.

I reached up and smoothed down the curly locks that were displaced by his fingers. He caught my hand and brought it to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on it and I smiled at him as he did that. “Adam, we just have to keep focused on the fact that this will be solved and we will be okay. Don’t cut me out of your thoughts please; we have to keep talking, communicating about all this.”

He looked at me and our eyes locked for a minute; his were searching for acceptance in mine and I held steady under that gaze, wanting him to know that I didn’t doubt him or my feelings for him. His hand reached for mine and clasped it tightly, holding on to it for the rest of the flight even though we didn’t talk all that much.

Our flight landed 20 minutes later and we both were feeling a little better about things and of course we were delighted to be back in California. Tamara walked with us to the baggage claim area and we stood chatting about nothing in particular as we waited for the bags to come around on the carousel. I was impatient, I just wanted out of the airport and to get on the road home.

We were settled in the car and out on the highway before we started discussing the situation with the boys.

“I haven’t told them yet you are here; they would only have been upset that they couldn’t come to the airport with me, but that was out of the question since they have to go to school tomorrow. Adam, I know how important it is for you to have time with them and I don’t want to deny that. But…” she started, taking a deep breath before continuing, “BUT, I just don’t think I’m comfortable having them spend the night there. I know that will hurt you, but I just can’t let them. Do you understand that?”

“Yes, I do. I guess I even agree. It will be hard for them though, they always expect to stay with me. How do you want to tell them that they won’t be staying at my house?”

I was sitting in the back seat and watching them as they spoke. They both stayed calm and were united for the boys. I admired that a great deal – Randy and I had a hard time doing that for our kids. In the end, I just made the decisions and excluded him; frankly, I’m sure he liked it better that way. But Adam and Tamara were just discussing it, calmly trying to figure out a solution to the problem.

“I hate having to lie to them Tamara; on the other hand, if we just say that there won’t be any overnight visits this time will they accept it?”

“Probably not, but I could be wrong. I mean, I think its okay that they are there during the day; I don’t have a problem with that. I’m not even sure really why I’m so worried about night time. I’m sort of like you, I think whoever is doing this is on the movie set and probably will be working. But just in case, I think it’s a necessary precaution. Oh hell, I don’t even know what to do Adam. They are going to be crushed!” she said miserably.

“Adam, Tamara, I maybe have an idea?” I said, trying to think it through. “What time is the soccer game on Saturday?”

“Um, it’s at 8:30. What’s your idea Sarah?”

“Well, when we were here before Adam mentioned to me a drive up the coast. We could leave after the game, drive up Saturday, spend the night up there and maybe drive back on Sunday. I mean, if we are on the road surely they won’t be following us? What do you think?”

Adam perked up immediately. “Yes, that could work. We’ll be tired, it’s a long drive Sarah and the boys could get restless. But we could have fun.”

“That is a very long ride for them. How about something closer? The truth is that they won’t care too much where they go if they are with you. They have wanted to go to San Diego and see the ships down there. How about that? It’s a lot closer.” she suggested.

“Oh yes, the Maritime Museum or Sea World. They’ve mentioned it lots of times. There are lots of old historic ships down there. We could go to see that and spend some time on the beach with them. Sarah, how about that?”

“It sounds great to me. The Star of India is there I believe. Yes, I think that’s a great idea. Tamara, you would feel safe with that plan?”

“Yes, I’d be okay with that. Then they could have lots of time with you and we could just tell them they don’t need to stay the night on the other nights. They’ll complain, but it will be okay. It only leaves tomorrow night, Sunday and Monday night, right?”

“Yes. We go back to Texas on Tuesday. Adam, remember though that I have to fly to Wichita for a doctors appointment on Wednesday, but I’m only going to be gone for the day.”

“I hadn’t forgotten love. We’ll need to remember to book a flight for you. I think this is a wonderful plan. Thank you for suggesting it love,” he said, turning around and bestowing upon me the happiest smile I’ve seen out of him for a long time. He was beaming – literally.

“Well, the boys will be very happy, that’s for sure. And I feel okay with it. I really do,” Tamara stated, as if realizing that she really did feel okay about it.

We filled her in on Rachel’s outburst at the studio this afternoon and she shook her head as she was driving. “That’s ridiculous,” she said. “I really don’t think she is the one, but she only makes herself look more suspicious when she acts like that. What’s wrong with her anyway, besides being a bitch? Doesn’t she use her brains? Sheesh!”

“Apparently she just doesn’t think. She just vents. I understand her frustration, I really do, but you are so right, she doesn’t help herself a bit. They had to put handcuffs on her to keep her from attacking Adam,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief. “It was just crazy Tamara, that’s the only way to describe it. Kind of sad really.”

“I’m not feeling all that sympathetic for her Sarah; she brings this stuff on herself. She doesn’t have to act like that. Part of is just that she’s a drama queen. Look how she greeted Mark when she was at your house that day. The whole purpose was to draw attention to herself by talking about making one of ‘Marks little movies’. Frankly, I am so sick of Rachel Tomlinson!” Tamara exclaimed.

We pulled into Adam’s drive way then and I couldn’t believe how quickly the ride home was. I looked at the house and felt so excited to be there. Yes, something terrible had happened there, but lots of terrible things had happened since then and suddenly that one didn’t seem so bad.

Before we got out of the car Tamara asked, “Would you like to come to dinner tomorrow? You can be there when the boys get home, maybe even pick them up from school if you want. They’ll be thrilled.”

“Yes Tamara, that sounds lovely. Pot luck? I can bring something if you like,” Adam stated.

“No, you know what? I think I’ll order Chinese. Mark has been asking for Sing Wu’s all week, so we’ll do that. They’ll deliver and all we have to do is throw away the boxes afterwards!” she laughed. “Sound okay to you?”

“Sounds fine. We’ll see you then?” Adam asked.

“Yeah. I’m sure we’ll talk sometime tomorrow. Oh, I brought some groceries over before I went to the airport, so you at least have some basics in there, other than what is in the freezer that is. Bye,” she said, driving off.

We stood there and watched her drive off for a moment before heading to the door. It was amazingly warm out and I could smell the salty ocean breeze freshening the air. I couldn’t wait to hit the beach tomorrow. I had left my swim suit here when we left because I figured I’d need it here before I’d need it in Wichita again. And my shorts were still here as well as a few summer shirts. Still, my wardrobe would be limited while we were here, as far as casual, comfortable clothes that is.

Adam unlocked the front door and turned the alarm system off and we went into the house. I immediately felt at home and very glad to be there. In fact just being there brought a ridiculously silly smile to my face and I looked up at Adam and he shared the same silly grin. The only lights that were on were the lights in the stairway, but it was enough to show us the way down. I felt like yelling ‘race you to the bedroom’ but decided that was stupid since stairs were involved, but I sure didn’t waste any time heading for them and Adam was right on my heels.

Down one flight of stairs I practically flew to our bedroom. I opened the door and went in, feeling for the light next to the door. It came on and I blinked in the bright rush of light. It looked exactly the same and there were no traces or signs of the window being broken. I laid my bag down on the settee at the end of the bed and turned and waited while Adam did the same. I almost ran into his arms I was so eager to hold him.

Our mouths met in a long and slow kiss, achingly sweet and tender. I stood on tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck and nestled my face against his warm neck and breathed his scent in deeply. His arms responded by pulling me tightly to him and as our hips pressed up against one another’s I felt his desire growing for me, which was good because I was very ready for him as well.

I reached for his shirt and started tugging it up over his chest and arms, finally working it over his head and then I let my hands roam over his bare chest, delighting in the firm texture of his skin beneath my questing fingers. I stopped and tickled his nipples until they were pebble-hard and then kissed them tenderly, taking the time to lick them lightly with the tip of my tongue. He moaned in response and I knew how much he liked it when I did that.

My hands slid down and I found the buttons on his jeans and unhurriedly worked each one loose until they were all open and then I slid his jeans and underwear down over his hips and legs. He kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his jeans and I licked my way down his belly, swirling little circles around his navel, making his belly quiver and contract with each stroke of my ardent tongue.

My tongue shifted downward to capture him between my lips and I slid my warm mouth down over the velvety length of him and I heard him gasp as I did it. Over and over my eager mouth glided over him, until his breathing was ragged and shaky. I felt his legs trembling and I knew he was almost at the point of no return, but I didn’t care and I didn’t stop; not until I felt his body shudder and contract with his release.

He pulled me up to him and captured my mouth in a long and lingering kiss and then I felt his tongue searching the warm recesses of my mouth which sent tingles down my spine and made my nipples stiffen until they were throbbing with need.

Adam’s mouth slid down over my jaw and he murmured against my neck, “Sarah, I love you,” over and over again and I moaned in response as I rubbed my hands over the muscled planes of his back.

He began unbuttoning my blouse and quickly had it off of me and then he slipped the straps of my bra down and pressed moist kisses over my shoulders and collar bones, his tongue licking at the hollow beneath the bones. He unfastened my bra and lifted the cups away from my breasts, the nipples standing firmly against the soft flesh of my rounded curves. He moved his hands to caress my breasts, lifting them gently as if weighing them in his hands and he rubbed his thumbs teasingly over my nipples. I moaned deep in my throat and then he bent his head to my breasts and his tongue lapped softly against those aching buds of desire and teased me until I felt unsteady on my feet; my legs shaking from the attempt to remain standing.

He picked me up and sat me down on the bed, laying me back and then unbuttoning my jeans, and then slid the zipper smoothly down. As he pulled those two garments down that were hampering his exploration my hands were bunching hand fulls of the comforter between clutched fingers in eager excitement. My breath kept catching in my throat as I waited impatiently for his touch, his caress.

I was a lucky girl because I didn’t have to wait long; he bent and placed kisses across my belly and my muscles contracted sharply as I drew a ragged breath in. He delved his tongue softly into my navel, tracing the edge lightly and I shivered; anticipation a tightly wound knot in my stomach.

His mouth moved leisurely down to the delta of soft curls that hid the moist treasure between my legs. He gently opened me with his thumbs, exposing the heated core of me and he looked up at me then, his eyes intensely focused on mine; his mouth poised above me before covering me with his warm lips. He suckled gently on me and licked delicately; his tongue making sensuous circles around the swollen knot of my desire.

I let out a loud moan as I felt the probing ministrations of his tongue and my head thrashed from side to side as I felt his loving attention on me and very soon his efforts were rewarded as I reached my peak; my body contracting wildly as I tripped over the edge to pleasure.

Adam crawled up the bed to lie next to me as I tried to get my ragged breathing under control. He pulled me gently into his warm arms and wrapped a leg protectively over me and I lay there, floating gently back to earth.

We held each other for awhile, until I was shivering from the cool room. “Cold love?” he asked me.

I nodded my head as it was snuggled against his shoulder, “Yes,” I said. “How about a warm bath?”

H lifted his head a bit and sort of pulled it back which enabled him to look down at me. He smiled his dimple smile then, which always warms my heart and said, “Your wish is my command. Did you bring the ball thingy” he teased, leaning down and bestowing a kiss on the tip of my nose.

“Well, as a matter of fact I did!”

“Extra batteries too?” he asked as he got up from the bed and pulled me with him.

“Um hm.”

Baths are now a favorite pastime. Just try getting us out of there!


Okay, okay – we did reluctantly get out later, after we were all wrinkled and completely worn out and sated. It was exactly what we needed, a peaceful interlude in which to allow us the time to sort of recoup our mental reserves. I can’t say that either one of us felt really safe necessarily, but the physical distance between Texas and us helped to at least give us an illusion that we were okay and that was critical right now.

It was after 2:00 am before we finally drifted off to sleep and both of us slept very well. We didn’t wake up until after 10:00 and when we did, we both laid there in the bed and stretched and cuddled for a few minutes before even thinking about getting out of the bed.

Finally my stomach rumbled which made us both laugh; it was always Adam’s stomach that alerted us that it was time to eat. I looked at him and giggled and he laughed and said, “You’re going to expect me to feed you aren't you?”

“Absolutely! It’s all your fault anyway; you’ve got me used to eating regularly plus,” I said, holding my hand up when he started to protest, “Plus, you wore me out last night, wore every bit of sustenance right out of my system. The least you can do is feed me!”

“Hmm, I guess I could,” he said, starting to trace little circles around my nipple with his finger. He placed a kiss on it then and only the next rumbling of my stomach swayed him from his teasing.

“You have been around me too much,” he remarked. “You’ve developed the Richland appetite!”

“Good God I hope not!” I retorted with a groan. “I’m in real trouble if I have.”

“No, I’m in real trouble, I’ll be constantly slaving away in the kitchen!” he grinned and I could tell that for some reason he liked that thought.

“And why does that thought please you so much?” I inquired.

“Because I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be, or anything I’d rather do. Well, except for maybe what goes on right here,” he said, again kissing my nipple playfully.

I giggled again and pointed to the door. “All right now, go and cook me a feast, I’m starving,” and his stomach chose that moment to rumble as well. “Ha!” I declared, “Now you’ll go I bet!”

He smiled and sat up on the edge of the bed. “All right, if you insist,” he said, stretching again as he sat there. “C’mon, let’s go see what Tamara brought for us to eat.”

We got up and dug through the luggage for robes, which for some reason we hadn’t bothered with last night. After we shrugged into them we padded off downstairs in our bare feet, excited to raid the fridge.

It looked like she had bought all the perishable staples and fruit and veggies we decided as we happily dug through the contents. And even though Adam was more that capable of creating something fabulous, we decided that speed was a priority and he cooked up a huge omelet and I sliced fruit and made toast. In between that he made coffee and we both waited impatiently for it to brew.

Adam opened the blinds and slid the doors back so that only the screens stood between us and outside. It was a beautiful day, the sky a startling shade of light blue with fluffy white clouds floating high over the ocean. The breeze was fairly strong, as is usual for the coast and it carried on it the fresh smell of salt and oceanic life. It made me want some seafood I told Adam with a laugh.

“All right, Monday we’ll go to a wonderful place that I know of, you’ll like it. It’s pretty dressy though; did you bring any nice dresses with you?”

“Not really. But, I need to do some shopping, because I need more shorts and stuff. I was thinking about calling Tamara and seeing if she could take me. Do you think she’ll mind?”

“You don’t want to shop with me?” he asked and I could see he was curious about that.

“Adam, honey, it’s a girl thing I guess. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but come on, do you really want to hang around dressing rooms while I try on clothes?”

“I guess not, really. I think Tamara would probably be delighted and I’m sure she would be more knowledgeable about the places to go to than I would anyway. Why don’t you call her?”

“If you’re sure you don’t mind, I will,” I told him, stopping to place a kiss on his mouth.

“Go ahead. I know when I’m not wanted,” he stated with a laugh, before pulling me to him for a hug.

I hugged him back and then turned to walk to the phone and he swatted my tush with a laugh. I looked at him and shook my finger and then picked up the phone. “What’s her number? I don’t know it yet?”

“Its number 3 on the speed dial. Press ‘3’ and then the talk button. It will do the rest,” he told me.

Tamara picked up on the second ring and we chatted for a few minutes before I asked her about shopping. She seemed genuinely happy to be asked and we agreed that she would be over in an hour. I told her I would see her then and hung up the phone.

“She didn’t ask to speak to me?” Adam inquired.

“No. Should she have?” I laughed.

“Guess not. How are the boys?”

“She said they are fine and excited. She also told them you would pick them up after school today and so if we’re not back yet, you’re on your own with them. Just take them back to her house she asked.” I watched his reaction to that, worrying that it would bother him, but he just nodded his head and seemed to be okay with it.

We ate our breakfast and got the kitchen cleaned up before heading upstairs to take a shower. He scrubbed my back in the shower and I felt his hands starting to get a little too friendly for the amount of time I had. I laughingly chastised him and we giggled. “Are you trying to sabotage my shopping trip?”

“Maybe delay is a better word. But I can tell you’re just not interested. I guess that means the honeymoon is over, huh?” he smiled, kissing me intently.

“I think you know better than that, silly man.” I wrapped my arms around him as the shower rained warmly down on us. “I love you so much Adam. I’m so happy to be home with you.”

“God yes, me too love. So happy.”

I was just drying my hair and putting on a little makeup when the doorbell rang. Adam went to get it while I got dressed and soon I joined them in the kitchen and we drank another cup of coffee before Tamara and I left.

“I hope I didn’t disrupt any plans you had today,” I told her, watching as we turned towards town and left the ocean view behind us.

“Yeah, I had a big plan today, you totally threw it off,” she laughed. At my apologetic look she quickly added “Oh no, I’m joking Sarah. I was going to clean out the kitchen cabinets. They are looking pretty bad and I knew that if Adam saw them I’d get ragged on. If you hadn’t noticed yet, he is a perfectionist as far as kitchens go. He’ll rearrange everything in your kitchen in Kansas soon, if he hasn’t already, I promise you!”

I laughed with her and said, “No, he hasn’t yet. Drives him crazy does it? Brother, he’s in for a tough spot at my house then! Those cabinets haven’t been organized since I moved in, years ago!”

“It’ll drive him crazy, it will. He’s not really a neat freak, but when it comes to the kitchen, he wants everything exactly where he thinks it should be, always has,” she said, shaking her head at some memory. “I think it had to do with control when he was growing up. They were virtual vagabonds Sarah and after Adam started cooking, I think he would always set up the kitchen where ever they were as sort of his constant; like sacred space maybe.”

“Tamara, does it bother you, they way they grew up I mean? It breaks my heart to hear him talk about so much of it. It just sounds so sad. Yet, he doesn’t seem too be resentful of it.”

“I think the thing is Sarah that they didn’t know anything different. It was the status quo to them; picking up and moving constantly, the kids sometimes scrounging for their next meal while Vivian and Gerald were already off in the bush with the locals, trying to save someone. Kids are remarkably resilient you know. But it has certainly made him determined to provide a stable environment for the boys and for that I’m so thankful.”

“Well, it certainly prepared him for his life now as well; moving from set to set, location to location while hardly batting an eye. It’s interesting, but I think it will get old quickly. I’m used to working and having a fairly constant life. Sometimes I wonder how well I’ll adapt to this life. Does that sound awful?” I asked her, watching her face for a reaction.

“No Sarah, it sounds realistic. Most people don’t have the luxury or the money to just pick up whenever and go somewhere different. I truly think Adam grows weary of it though. He seems to come home a lot more the past few years. It’s not about the money anymore or building a career. He has accomplished both of those things and he’ll never have to worry about them again. He can pick and choose when he wants to work and what movies he does. Not that many celebrities have that freedom. And so the past few years he takes roles that are interesting to him or that take him places he’d like to go or provide opportunities to work with someone special. I have the feeling that is going to be happening even more in the future. So be honest with him about how you feel. There isn’t too much that makes him happy quite as much as being home, especially with you I’ve noticed. Sarah, he is so happy, his face just radiates it.”

“I don’t want to hold him back though Tamara. I believe you are right about him loving to be home, but I think he likes working too. Doing nothing would drive him crazy after awhile I think.”

“Well, the same goes for you Sarah; your happiness and needs are no less important than his, you need to remember that. Maybe for awhile you’ll continue to work, or maybe not. But it’s something you two need to talk about,” she said, pulling into a shopping center parking lot and stopping the car. “Here we are, there are several great shops in here, boutiques really and if you’re looking for summer kinds of things, these are the places!”

I looked at several of the stores in sight. We were at a strip mall sort of place and there were lots of stores here I could see. There were lots of shoppers weaving to and fro along the walkways and stopping to look in the store windows, sometimes pointing at what was displayed. I couldn’t help but laugh at several places names’, ‘Misty’s Mystic Closet’ for one.

“That’s a Goth place,” she told me, “Lots of those kinds of places around here. I thought we would go into ‘Great Escapes’, I’ll bet you will like it. C’mon,” she said, heading down the strip a short ways and opening a door for us to enter.

Inside was a large shop that somehow managed to look intimate, mostly due to a savvy layout, sort of broken down into small sales areas. Jimmy Buffet was playing over the sound system and I smiled and immediately decided I liked the place.

“I’m surprised to see so many summer things on display, since it is fall. In Wichita you wouldn’t be able to find this kind of stuff,” I told her while looking through a rack of swimsuits.

“Yeah, but Sarah, it’s sort of summer here all the time. It never gets really cold here, so they sell this stuff all year long.”

I was pulling swimsuits out of a rack and already found two different ones I liked. “Oh dear,” I said, holding them up and trying to decide if I should try them both on or just skip them altogether. “I’m in trouble, there are too many things in here I’m going to like, I can already tell! Hey Tamara, are you as good at decorating people as you are sets? I may need some help,” I decided with a laugh.

“As far as I can tell, you do a pretty good job picking out clothes yourself. You obviously know what colors suit you and what styles. I don’t think I could help you a bit!” she told me, shaking her head. She pointed to the lime green two piece tankini I was holding up and said, “But I really like that one. With your tan it would look awesome!”

“But do you think I can pull off a two piece?” I asked, not so sure. I really liked this one, but I just wasn’t sure. It probably covered as much as a one piece did, but it just seemed weird for me to buy a two piece. The bra and bottoms were solid but the tank covering was made of net. It covered, and yet it didn’t.

“Sarah, it will look wonderful. It does have a very deeply cut back, but the top comes down to the top of the bottoms and the net will hid more than you think.” She looked at me and laughed, “But there isn’t too much that will need to be covered you know. Go on; try it on, just so we can see!”

I nodded my head; I was at least going to do that. Why do we always feel so bad about bathing suits I wonder? It wasn’t just me, even Cassie, all 98 pounds of her worried about how she looks. I think we women are unfair to ourselves, I really do. Of course, that didn’t change anything I thought wryly.

I tried it on and Tamara and I both loved it; I knew it was going home with me. And so did a half dozen pairs of shorts, 10 tops, two more summer dresses and a couple of pairs of Capri pants, all suitable for life on the beach I thought with a smile. I also walked out five hundred dollars poorer, but I didn’t care. I hadn’t bought new things like this in ages. I spotted a shoe store down the mall and told Tamara, “C’mon, I need some shoes too! Before I was done there I had purchased 3 new pairs of sandals that I loved. I was a very satisfied woman as we carried the purchases to the car and locked them into the trunk.

“C’mon,” Tamara said, heading off down the sidewalk. “Its ice cream time, THE best ice cream, I promise!”

Never one to turn down ice cream, I obediently followed her, pausing often to look in the shop windows as we went. I saw this funky little jewelry store called ‘Venus’ Fly Trap’ that I wanted to stop in and a music store and, oh God, and a lingerie store. I didn’t know what to do about that one. I didn’t know if I was comfortable buying lingerie with Adam’s ex-wife, it seemed kind of … weird, I guess.

She was right; it was THE best ice cream I thought as I indulged in two scoops, one chocolate cherry amaretto and the other cookies and cream. Tamara had coconut macaroon and chocolate espresso. We licked away at our cones like greedy kids, not wanting to waste a single drop and we laughed at our selves because of it.

I got into the jewelry store and looked around at the different and unique possibilities. I made several purchases, including a couple that I really giggled over and we left. If Tamara wondered about those strange purchases she didn’t say anything and we walked on down the mall. I decided to go past the lingerie store. Maybe that could be an Adam and I trip I thought smiling. Besides, it was going to take my MasterCard awhile to recover from all this I decided.

It was a little after five o’clock when we headed to Tamara’s after dropping off all my purchases at our house. Adam and the boys were already there, as was Mark. They were all playing a game on the Xbox, and all murmured hello and ignored us after that. Tamara looked at me and shrugged her shoulders and we headed out to the kitchen, to find the menu for Sing Wu’s.

Tamara poured us each a glass of icy cold white wine and raised her glass for a toast. “Men!” Tamara exclaimed with a laugh.

“Men!” I returned, laughing myself.


I'm going to be loading some pictures of my office this morning. It looks awesome!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

You Be The Author!


Well, I'm not here, but Adam and Sarah can be.

What, you say you've always wanted to see something specific happen for Sarah and Adam? This is your chance!

Feel free to write a short story or a few paragraphs even about something related to Sarah and Adam's world! Be creative, knock yourselves out!

Just be kind to Adam and Sarah, and in comments made to each other about your literary efforts! But have some fun! Maybe you want to write about a trip that Sarah and Adam take somewhere, maybe you want to write about Cassie and Dr. Gorgeous or Lissa and her mystery man! Maybe you even want to write something from the stalker's perspective! Anything goes.

I can't wait to read it all! Monday we'll all discuss it. It can be a little birthday gift for me.


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

War of Words

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Adam hadn’t said more than 10 words since we left the house. As we drove over to the hotel he had focused on driving, his expressive hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as he maneuvered the Dallas roads. His hands could stir me in so many ways – they were tender and gentle, passionate and ardent. They held me lovingly when I cried or needed his strength and aroused me beyond belief when I ached for him. I sat silently as we drove through the night, trying to give him the time he evidently needed to get his thoughts together.

We found the hotel with no problem. Lyle had booked us into a beautiful hotel – The Mansion on Turtle Creek, an exclusive hotel that was in a renovated 1920’s mansion. It was charming and intimate and we stayed in a lovely room with a balcony and a delightful bath tub. The marble bath had a separate vanity area with brass and marble fixtures. I noticed terry bathrobes as well as custom bath products sitting near the tub and on the vanity.

The sad thing was that neither of us was particularly eager to use it right then. We felt like refugees, just trudging along a path to a new destination; one that hopefully would be kinder to us.

Even though it was after 10:00 pm it was still very warm and we went and sat out on the balcony, and it was impossible not to admire the view of the Dallas skyline. The lights of the city stretched out before us, a splendid panorama for the senses; some twinkling and some steady, they all were delightful. We still didn’t say very much; I know that I was lost in my own thoughts and I suppose that Adam was too. But it was peaceful out there and I enjoyed it until the breeze started to get chilly. Adam noticed that I shivered and so we finally went back into the room and I looked around me in admiration; it was stunning. The room had European-style furnishings and antiques and even some original artwork. Off to one side of the room was a beautiful sitting area with a loveseat and a rocker. I noticed a stereo system with a smile and thought about going over and turning it on so I could play with the equalizer- anything to bring a smile to Adam’s solemn face.

The room also had fresh flowers which lent an elegant look to the mahogany library table along with a dish of exclusive candies made especially for the hotel. I looked through them, hunting for something chocolate to tempt Adam with, but even the piece of rich chocolate couldn’t entice a smile out of him. I was at a loss and finally decided that I just needed to let him work it out himself, or at least wait until he was ready to talk.

I guess this is one of those times that Tamara spoke of; when he becomes mired in it all. Tamara had said that I was the perfect person to pull him out of it, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to do it. He was standing at the French balcony doors looking outside and was lost in thought. I went over to him and hugged him and told him I was going to hop in the bath.

I wasn’t looking for sex; in fact it was the farthest thing from my mind but a tub full of bubbles never hurt anyone so I hoped it could at least tempt him to come and share the relaxation. I started the taps in the bathroom and left the door open as I got undressed. There were water jets in the tub and I knew they would be relaxing. The marble tub was large and oval shaped, perfectly comfortable for 2 people I thought and suddenly the idea of the bath sounded better than ever. I wanted to sink into the warm bubbly water and feel the jets easing the tension away.

“Hey,” I called out to him. “Can you find some music to listen to while I’m in the bath? The water looks lovely and I’ve got the jets going, I want to just immerse myself for awhile and relax!” I hoped my ploy would work; that he would get curious and come into the bathroom and decide to take the plunge – literally.

“Sure,” he answered and I could hear him move across the room and then the stereo come on. The tuner slide over several stations before he found one that seemed to please him. Michael Buble was singing The Way You Look Tonight and it was soft and dreamy and fit my mood perfectly; something to relax to.

Adam came to stand in the doorway as I was stepping into the fragrant bubbles. “How does that sound?” he asked quietly.

“Perfect! Oh, I am so looking forward to this,” I told him, sinking down into the warm water. I moved around until a jet was pulsating against my back and let out a huge ecstatic sigh accompanied by a grin. “Ooh, wonderful!”

He smiled back at me and that was a move in the right direction I thought. “Wanna get in? I’ll wash your back,” I said, trying to not let it sound provocative. I just wanted him to relax.

“Yeah, that sounds good” he said, starting to take his clothes off. He went back out to the bedroom and I heard the cord on the blinds close and then the sounds of him undressing. He came back into the bathroom and I moved over in the tub, making room for him as he stepped into it.

He settled down and I lay up next to him and we both just soaked up the warm water and let the jets gently lull our frayed nerves. The station played soft rock and it was so easy to relax to I thought as the next song that came up was the Eagles, Best of my Love. I could almost have gone to sleep there I felt so peaceful.

That changed when I heard Adam’s stomach rumble and I remembered we hadn’t had any dinner. I hadn’t even thought about it, but true to form, his stomach did.

“I guess we forgot dinner. We had better get out and call room service,” I told him, although I was loathe to move. The most strenuous thing I was doing was lightly rubbing my hand over his chest which he was enjoying I believed. “C’mon, let’s get your back scrubbed and then get out I said, reaching for the shower gel and the washcloth I had laid on the edge of the tub. I poured some of the gel on the wet cloth and started rubbing it over him and he just seemed to sink further into the warm water. But I eventually got him to sit up so I could wash his back and as I massaged the cloth over him he let out a long groan. I moved around to his front and saw that he was erect and decided maybe a little sex wouldn’t be out of the question after all.

“What’s this?” I asked, capturing him in my hand. I guess I had better wash it too, hm?” I softly rubbed the washcloth over him and he lie back in the tub again and watched me through half-closed eyes.

I leaned up and brushed my mouth against his and felt him respond to me eagerly. My tongue traced the outline of his beautiful lips before I softly opened them with my tongue. It felt like electricity hit us both when our tongues made contact and I lost myself in our shared kisses that went on and on, making me feel dizzy with desire for him.

I slid my mouth down his throat, kissing and nibbling it as I went until I had moved down to his chest. I teased his nipples with the tip of my tongue and was rewarded as they stiffened in response. His breathing was becoming more rapid and he stretched his body out more in the tub. I playfully ran my fingers through the curly hair that nested so delightfully on his chest, tugging teasingly as my mouth slid lower down his belly.

His breath caught in his throat when my tongue found the sensitive skin around his naval and I smiled mischievously as he gasped. As my mouth slipped lower still his breath became ragged and his hips began to move on their own. I looked up at him as my mouth closed over his throbbing desire and he moaned loudly.

“No, love, no. I want to be inside you,” he told me, pulling me urgently to him. I sank down onto him quickly, feeling him fill me and my muscles contacted around him tightly in response. I moved slowly on him because we were both close to the edge and I knew neither of us was going to last long at all.

As I slid my body up and down on him I leaned my head back and moaned with the pleasure. He reached up and sucked my nipple into his mouth and it was all I needed to find my release. My body shuddered as the orgasm gripped me, starting at my toes and moving upward.

My tightly squeezing muscles holding him firmly inside of me were all it took to push Adam over the edge as well and we traveled the path of pleasurable sensations together. I lay forward onto his chest as we both struggled to get our breathing under control. He held me close and I felt him kissing my hair and telling me how much he loved me. All I could do was tell him how much I loved him too.

I slipped off of his lap and sank down gratefully into the still warm water and felt the jets playfully tickling my back. The only thing that mattered at that moment was holding Adam and being held. The rest of the world could just go just go away.


After our bath Adam was feeling a little bit better and I was glad. I did wonder if it was always a good thing that when there is something wrong that we always end up making love to feel better. That seems wrong somehow. It really wasn’t my intention when I got him into the tub. Not really although I do have to admit to knowing it was a possibility. I guess as long as we do talk still its okay, but I keep thinking back to Tamara’s words about me being able to pull Adam out of his head at times like this. Surely she didn’t mean by having sex with him all the time?

“Are you hungry now Adam?” I asked while looking at the extensive room service menu. “It looks like we can get about anything we want, what do you feel like?”

He stood looking over my shoulder at the menu, trying to decide what he wanted. He pointed to an item that I had already seen, "Look love, you can have a PB&J, only $12!” he joked and I saw a lovely smile, the first one I had seen all evening spread across his face.

“Better watch it there Richland, I might just get it!” I teased.

His eyebrows rose an inch or more at my threat and he quickly went back to the menu, trying to make a decision.

“Hey, look at this; it sounds good.” I was pointing to Fire Canyon Pasta that had creamy Queso Fresco and Asadero cheeses and garlic sauce laced with spicy red peppers. It had shrimp in it which was reason enough for me to eat it and I knew that was what I wanted. “Yum, that’s what I want!” I declared. My mouth was already watering imagining the spicy treat.

“Okay, sounds good to me too. Shall I order?” he asked. At my nod he picked up the phone and placed the order. I lay down on the bed, stretching out and took a few deep breaths, trying to will my body to relax; trying NOT to think about what had happened earlier.

Adam hung the phone up and pounced on the bed next to me like a big playful cat. I laughed, remembering when I talked with Tristan earlier and he had growled.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked, looking deep into my eyes. I was mesmerized by those dark chocolate orbs of his; I could drown in them in the very best of ways.

“I was thinking about Tristan. Earlier when I cheered his team he growled like a tiger. You just pounced on the bed in a very tiger-like manner and it reminded me of him, that’s all. Like father, like son I guess! I wish we could be there for his games.”

Adam was lying there on his stomach, resting on his elbows and his fingers were caressing my face and playfully wandering through my hair. He lightly tugged on a curly strand and said, “You really do love the boys don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. They melt my heart actually. Adam, I feel so blessed that they like me, that your family likes me. I wish we could see them more often.”

“How would you feel about flying home to California for a long weekend if I can get Lyle to let me off on Friday or Monday? I think he could be persuaded. I don’t want to bring them here, but I think going there might be okay. What do you think?”

“Oh Adam, that would be wonderful! I’m sure the boys would love it. I don’t know how Tamara will feel about them staying with us though. What do you think?”

“I think we should ask her. I did tell her we would call her back tonight.” He reached for his cell and dialed her. She answered almost immediately, which told me she was waiting probably not so patiently for our call.

He told her what had happened since we talked to her earlier and where we were now. Then he told her we wanted to come out this weekend and asked her how she felt about that and her response must have been positive because they started making some plans.

He looked at me and said, “Tristan has a game Saturday morning we’ll get to see if we can make the trip.”

I gave him a ‘thumbs up’ and was smiling broadly when room service knocked on our door. Adam said goodbye and headed to the door and waited while they wheeled in the cart with our dinner on it. As soon as it was in the room the aroma hit the air and I realized I was hungry too.

The pasta was accompanied by bolillos, rolls that are crispy and crunchy on the outside and tender on the inside. A delicious side salad came with it also, full of fresh and crunchy jicama and tender vegetables with a creamy salsa dressing. Adam had ordered icy margaritas to drink with our dinner and for dessert, (what, Adam skip dessert!) Leche Quemada, caramelized milk custard that was to die for.

It was a feast for our senses as well as our bellies. The taste and aromas appealed to our appetites and the combinations of textures and flavors were heavenly.

After we had finished the feast I lie back on the bed and felt my extremely full tummy. “We need some exercise now, that’s for sure,” I jested, with a groan.

“Um, exercise huh?” Adam asked, leaning in to nuzzle my neck. He was obviously feeling better, in many ways! “Um, delectable. What did you have in mind?”

“Oh, I was thinking about a nice long walk. How does that sound?” I teased.

His face fell immediately. “Well, not quite what I was hoping for, but I think there is a fitness facility here at the hotel and we could go and check it out.”

He clearly hadn’t caught on that I was teasing. Hm, a little slow tonight and no wonder I thought after the day we had. I guess I needed to be a little clearer.

“‘Or, you could maybe chase me around the room for a bit before I let you capture me and have your way with me. If you were interested that is…”

“Race you!” he said.


The phone woke us up at 10:00 am the next morning and we both groaned when we heard it. I pulled the pillow up over my head and tried to retreat deeply under the comforter, to no avail because the damn phone just kept ringing until Adam crawled out of the covers and grabbed it.

“Mm, hello,” he mumbled sleepily as he struggled to a sitting position. “Oh, good morning Lyle. Yes, yes it’s lovely.” He paused, listening to Lyle for a minute or so. “Um hm, that sounds okay. But I did want to talk to you about something.” He explained that we would like to go to California for a few days to get away. Neither of us particularly wanted to go back to the house where we had been staying. He and Lyle chatted for a few minutes and evidently came to an understanding and then Adam listened silently while Lyle told him something else that disturbed him. He said very little during this part of the conversation, only murmuring ‘yes’ and ‘I do understand’ and ‘what else’. When Adam hung up he had promised to come in this afternoon to shoot a scene.

“Okay, I’m going to the set this afternoon for a scene and then Lyle will rearrange the shooting and we can go to California for a few days. It’s been very tense around the set this morning; the police were in to talk to Rachel and then took her down to the station to question her further. She isn’t in the scene this afternoon and she and I won’t have a scene together until next Tuesday so she will at least have some time to cool down. So, we need to get up and get ready to go to the studio love. Is that okay?”

“Absolutely, especially since we get to go to California. I can make the travel arrangements this afternoon while you are working. I’ll call Tamara as soon as we have a flight time. Do you want to go tonight if we can or wait until the morning?” I was excited and I couldn’t wait to get started. I had a sobering thought then; we would have to go back to the house to get clothes and things. I shuddered at the thought; it made me feel ill to even contemplate it.

“Let’s wait and see how it looks like the filming will go. If it’s quick, then we can probably catch a flight tonight if there is one available, okay?” He leaned over to kiss me and it made me feel so wonderful; just the soft touch of his lips against mine made all the difference in the world.

We hurriedly showered and got dressed, packing away the few things we brought with us. I refused to stay at the house anymore, but we had to go back and get our things anyway, I thought. If we couldn’t get a flight out tonight we’d have to stay somewhere else, that’s all there was to it.

We headed to the studio and went directly to the dressing room and left our bags and then went to get some coffee. Lyle found us at the table, stirring our coffee and grabbing some rolls to munch on.

“Great, you’re here. We’ve moved things around and should be able to get this scene shot this afternoon. I’d say you should be safe getting a flight out late this evening. Sunni is making all those arrangements for you and will let you know when she has them. Adam, Sarah, I just wanted to say how sorry I am about all this trouble, at the house I mean. We are going to move you over the weekend to another unit unless you’d like to continue to stay in the hotel for the next month? It’s your choice, just let me know. Now, finish your breakfast and by then Sunni should have your arrangements made.” He walked off with a wave, leaving Adam and I alone.

“Oh, I’m so happy we’ll get to go tonight,” I exclaimed. As soon as we get the details I’ll call Tamara and see if she can pick us up from the airport. Tonight we’ll sleep in our own bed again, in our own house!”

Adam’s eyes widened at my comment and turned to liquid chocolate. He didn’t quite smile, but I saw joy on his face and I thought back to what I had said and then I understood.

“I love hearing you say ‘our’ bed and ‘our’ house Sarah. I know you really believe that too, don’t you? That it is ours, I mean,” he asked softly.

“Yes Adam, I do. That’s how I see it. I want to go home to ‘our’ house,” I said with a sigh, already thinking of lying by the pool and playing on the beach with the boys. If Tamara would allow it anyway and I so hoped she would.

“Hey!” Sunni said, heading our way across the deserted room. “I’ve got travel plans made for you.” She held out E tickets to us and an itinerary. “You leave at 8:15 tonight and hit LAX at 9:45, LA time. How does that sound?”

I think she could tell from our grins that it was just fine as far as we were concerned. “Thank you Sunni,” I said, taking the papers she had for us. I turned to Adam and said, “I’m going to call Tamara, okay?”

“All right. Sunni, do you know when I need to get to makeup?”

“Yeah, ASAP. And I believe you are in costume 12 today. I’ve got to get busy, so I’ll see you later!” she called as she headed off.

Adam and I walked to his dressing room and I sat down and studied all the papers that Sunni had given me. “It looks like they’ve booked our return flight too Adam. Tuesday afternoon, 1:52 departure, arrive Dallas at 7:39. All first class which I guess doesn’t surprise me.” As I spoke, Adam changed into his costume, a pair of khaki pants and a blue shirt, deep royal blue and I decided that whoever made their wardrobe selections knew how good he looked in that shade of blue. No tie today, which I know made him happy!

“All right, I’m off to makeup love. Tell Tamara I said hi and we’ll see her later.” He leaned down to kiss me and then our eyes met and I couldn’t get the silly smile off of my face!

I called Tamara and she said it was no problem to pick us up at the airport. “Mark is home and he can stay with the boys, I’ll come by myself so we can figure out a game plan on the way home. I know Adam wants to see them,” she sighed. “But we’ve got to figure out a way to make sure they’re safe.”

“I agree Tamara,” I told her. “Honestly though, I don’t know how we can do this without putting them in harms way.”

“We’ll figure it out Sarah, I promise. Are you excited? You sound like you are.”

“I am ecstatic. I want to go home.” I was quiet for a moment and then added, “I hate this place. Not just because of what happened, the whole thing Tamara. I’m afraid I’m not cut out for the glamorous life of a girlfriend of a movie star.”

“Sarah, there are a lot of adjustments that need to be made, but you will be able to make them. Adam isn’t part of the Hollywood lifestyle; that will help a lot you know. And it can be horrible on set I know, but sometimes it’s fun too. I just think that particular set is so tense because of all this that you aren’t really seeing how it can be. It’s not all bad, I promise you.”

“I’m trying to believe that Tamara, really. I’m just not quite there yet,” I told her with a sigh.

“Hang in there Sarah. I have to go, but I’ll see you tonight! Hey, that sounds great doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, see you tonight,” I said, hanging up. I really was excited and I decided to wander out to see if I could find Adam on the set. I wanted to lock the door to the dressing room but I didn’t have a key and I decided that it was kind of like closing the barn door after the cow got out, so I shut it with a shrug and headed out.

I found them doing a run-through on a scene since it is one they hadn’t planned on shooting yet. Adam, William and Paul were having a good time it looked, even though the scene was very serious. I settled into a chair to watch it as one or the other of them screwed up their lines, over and over in fact. But no one seemed upset about it; in fact they all seemed pretty jovial, even Lyle.

They finally settled down and got all the way through the scene without anyone flubbing their lines and Lyle started calling for lights and mic booms to be set. Adam came over and asked what Tamara had said.

“She is picking us up at the airport. Mark is home and will stay with the boys so we can talk on the way home about how we can keep them safe. She’s scared Adam, but she wants you to see them.” I watched his face as relief flooded it and knew he had really been worrying about it.

The bell rang to call them back and he quickly kissed me and headed back. Lyle called all quiet and the scene started. I watched as all three of them ran their lines flawlessly and they got the main take. They started shooting the different angles then with the continuity technician making sure everyone was where they needed to be. They were mostly done with that when I heard screaming coming from down the hallway. I turned to look as Rachel stormed onto the set, madder than a wet cat and spitting twice as much.

“Where the fuck is he? I know he’s here! Adam, you fucking coward, where the hell are you?” she demanded at the top of her lungs.

The scene stopped in mid-shoot and Adam walked over to where Rachel was standing. She was ready to pounce; frankly I’ve hardly ever seen someone so angry. Her face was swollen, from tears most likely and was a bright, blotchy red. She was raging and Lyle called for security to come over to the set, just in case she got out of control. Well, more out of control that she was right now that is.

When Adam walked up to her she flew at him, claws bared and started slapping at anything she could reach. The security guards got there then and pulled her back, one hanging onto each arm frantically. She was swinging and twisting her body and even though there were two of them, it was difficult to hang onto her. Rachel is 5’10 and strong. I didn’t envy them trying to get her under control.

Lyle was yelling himself, telling her to get herself under control or he would have her removed from the set forcibly. It didn’t stop her a bit. One of the guards reached for his set of handcuffs and held them up to Lyle and he nodded his head. They practically had to throw her on the floor to get them on her, but they finally did but other than keeping her from swinging any more they didn’t appear to help much. By this time only a muzzle would have.

“You asshole, you asshole! They took me in for questioning like a fucking criminal.” Tears were streaking her face, running in torrents down her flushed face and dripping off onto her shirt. “Like a criminal. I had to sit there and answer their goddamn questions, over and over. They took a DNA sample and fingerprints, just to ‘rule me out’ they said. Who are they kidding? They’re trying to pin this whole mess on me.”

By this time almost every person who was working on the shoot had gathered around this scene, watching intently as Rachel broke down even farther. “I don’t know why they didn’t get you instead of the goddamn rat!” At that everyone’s ears picked up, possibly they hadn’t heard about the rat, I wasn’t sure, but its mention caused a stir.

Rachel was still yelling and shrieking. My eardrums were throbbing from it all and I was standing 10 feet away from her. I couldn’t imagine how it sounded from Adam and Lyle’s perspective which was right there in front of her.

Lyle was still trying to reason with her, get her to quiet down. “Rachel, if you don’t calm down I’m going to have to call the police and have you arrested. You can’t keep on like this. Just calm down, all right?”

“Calm down. You must be kidding me, right? He, he had me detained and I haven’t done anything besides wound his ego! That’s right,” she yelled at everyone who was listening, “I turned him down in England.” People started looking away from her then, most knew her well enough to know that wasn’t true, but she was so upset she couldn’t see it then, couldn’t hear how pathetic it sounded, how desperate.

“Rachel,” Adam said, “Let’s go into a dressing room and talk about this, all right? Please, it will be better for everyone.”

“Fuck you,” she said, spitting at him. “But then that’s what all this is about isn’t it? Your ego! You fucked someone over in the past and now they are fighting back, isn’t that right Adam? Yeah, it is right. Well,” she said speaking to everyone then, “You all need to remember that I’m not the only woman from his past.” She looked at him then and her eyes narrowed as she tried to see whether she was getting closer to a nerve. “Yeah, there were other women, weren’t there Adam. Someone who wouldn’t take your cold treatment and walked away, wasn’t there? Someone who like me wouldn’t take your frigid heart, someone who decided to get out because you just weren’t worth it!” She turned her head to look at me, her eyes like chips of splintered glass and said, “Get out now because I’m warning you, he has a heart like a revolving door, one day you’re in and the next you’re out.” She looked around at everyone, brazenly eyeing them all, her vivid blue eyes not flinching from any of them. “Fuck you all, you self-righteous assholes. Go to hell.” And then she turned and started walking out of the studio; the security guards looked at Lyle for direction.

He nodded his head in her direction and said, “Get the cuffs off of her and get her out of here. If she gives you any problems, call the police. I’ve had enough. Hell, we’ve all had enough.”

“Krista, how many takes have we got?” Lyle asked.

Krista looked really pale at all of this. Sunni was standing near her watching Krista with cautious eyes. Krista glanced at Sunni and then cleared her throat and said, “We have 5 takes. We got every angle except for one Lyle. Do you want to try to capture that one?”

“No. Let’s go with what we got. Everyone is dismissed for the day. We’ll see those of you back here in the morning that are shooting.” He turned to Adam and I and said, “Let Sunni take you to pick up your things and then take you to the airport. You’ll be a bit early, is that okay?”

I looked at Adam, afraid he was going to collapse of something. He was extremely pale and was still breathing rapidly. I nodded to Lyle and told him that would be fine. We followed Sunni out to the dressing rooms and waited while Adam changed back into his own clothes and then we grabbed our bags and left.

The walk to the car was silent. I couldn’t think of a thing to say to Adam and Sunni was being uncharacteristically quiet as well. We made the drive to the house without a word being spoken and we got out of the car and went into the house. It seemed like some place foreign now and I shivered as we walked upstairs. Sunni waited downstairs for us and I told her we wouldn’t be long.

When we walked into the bedroom I stopped for just a moment and stared at the bed, but then I chose to just ignore it and just get our things ready. Adam was just standing in the middle of the room, seemingly in shock. I went to him and wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me in return, but it was a hug without warmth, without thought even. I grabbed everything we needed and soon we were heading downstairs where Sunni was waiting. She hadn’t asked to see the bedroom thankfully. I couldn’t have stood that.

Again the drive to the airport was in silence except for a few comments about the trip between Sunni and me. She let us off at the entrance to our terminal and I nodded as she pulled away. We went to the desk to check in for the flight and then went to the bar to have a drink. Adam still wasn’t talking much and I didn’t know how to get him out of it this time.

It seemed like forever, but we eventually got boarded and were on our way to California. I could only hope we were doing the right thing.