Monday, May 31, 2010

Sarah's Pregnancy Diary - Part Three

The Family Dinner

Adam’s POV –

Sarah and I called the family and invited them to dinner tomorrow night. It would be a gathering of most all of our blended family and while I wanted to get it done with as quickly as possible for Sarah’s benefit, I was also looking forward to it. Any excuse to see everyone was wonderful in my opinion.

I called a local Mexican restaurant to inquire if we could get a meal catered in on such short notice. Yes, we could have all gone there, but I wanted Sarah to be comfortable so home seemed like the best place for everyone to gather. She is very peaked and wan, both from the wedding and now the pregnancy.

When Lissa and Cassie both came to me the day of the wedding and told me what they suspected I was quite flummoxed. Pregnant? Could she really be? Well apparently she could be. It was frightening as I watched her when we confronted her about it all.

Yes, I suppose I’m a typical male in that my first thought was ‘Touchdown Richland’! I know, that is such a chauvinistic attitude, we’re not the ones carrying the little ones, all that. But Sarah, the woman I have waited for all my life was carrying my child, a tiny part of each of us. It was growing within her body, something I couldn’t ever do; I wanted to protect her and coddle her and take her fears away and yet I knew that I couldn’t alleviate them all, only time could.

Tamara and Mark were thrilled to be invited to the dinner when I asked them but a bit confused about why we weren’t going on our honeymoon. Lissa and Cassie had both agreed to keep this information to themselves until we could tell everyone so when I wouldn’t tell Tamara what was up she was immediately suspicious. I told her she would just have to be patient and laughed at her muttering on the other end of the phone.

No one else really questioned it too much; they all just seemed to be glad to come over for the dinner. It was set for 6:00 the next evening and so it was a busy time for me to get prepared. Because the restaurant didn’t normally cater I had to find somewhere to rent a couple of extra tables and some folding chairs and luckily found someplace straight away. Sarah was told to just sit and relax over it all, which partly irritated her, I could tell. But no matter, she needs to rest because she had another serious bout of morning sickness that morning and she was in no condition to be working around here.

I do understand that her body is trying to get accustomed to being pregnant, but I must say that she is really a little over-emotional! As she was sick this morning I tried to help her in the bathroom, I mean hold her hair back out of the way and just be with her. She was actually testy over the whole thing, told me to get out of the bathroom and leave her alone. She actually wasn’t quite that pleasant about it either. I’m not quite sure what to do about it; I mean, I want to help her but what does she expect me to do?

The family all arrived and we enjoyed a wonderful meal. The reactions were all very positive, especially both sets of parents. My dad just smiled and winked at Sarah and it was delightful to see the blush sweep across her face. Derek and Pam laughed about Daniel being older than his new aunt/uncle and Tamara was ecstatic; she and Sarah would be pregnant together.

I noticed that Sarah only picked at her dinner but Lissa told me to just let her be; that she would eat what she could. I told Lissa and Cassie about Sarah’s reaction to my help this morning and Cassie laughed and said to me, “Oh, you DIDN’T?” and laughed some more.

Lissa looked uncomfortable about it all; I’m sure she appreciated how hard I was trying to be helpful. Cassie just stood there, shaking her head and holding her sides as she laughed. Finally she just said to me, “You’ll learn, Adam….you’ll learn!”

What? What am I to learn?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Sarah's Pregnancy Diary - Part Two

The Naked Truth

The second pregnancy test showed the same results as the first. The knowledge slowly penetrated my befuddled brain. I, Sarah Richland (I love saying that!) am a 46 year old pregnant woman. Life, as I know it was going to drastically change.

After we got the second set of results Cassie and Lissa both hugged me and departed, both whispering words of love and support. Lissa told me to call her and let her know when I was ready to talk about specifics.

I felt stunned, literally blown-away. I knew I would have this baby, but suddenly all the fear that comes with such a late-in-life pregnancy washed over me.

Adam watched me closely, trying to figure out what my mood was; was I happy or sad? Did I want to talk or just digest? His guess was as good as my own. Finally he took me by the hand and led me upstairs to our bedroom where we both lay on the bed. I cuddled next to him and listened to his steady heartbeat, pattering against his chest.

He gently stroked my hair, running his fingers through it in a soothing manner. I was trying to formulate words, something to say to him, but I felt bereft of them right now. I knew he was happy about this; I was too sort of, but there was so much that could go wrong and with every breath I took I thought of some new horror.

And then suddenly, calm descended upon me and all I could think of was the joys. Adam and I, this amazing, incredible man and I had created a life together and it was nestled inside my body; tiny little body growing, a boy or a girl. Life is a miracle and we were going to share it.

I leaned up and smiled at Adam, still watchful of my every move. I kissed his warm lips once, then again and rested my cheek against his. I sighed with contentment.

“Adam, we’re going to have a baby,” I whispered, looking into his eyes. There were tears in my eyes and I saw that his eyes were teary as well.

“Yes, bella, we are.” He smiled at me and kissed my forehead softly. “Are you okay with that?”

It occurred to me that he might have thought that I would want to terminate the pregnancy. I was tracing little hearts across his chest with my fingertip and tried to decide how to answer that question. Yes, I was okay, but I was so scared too.

“I’m happy about it Adam, but I’m also so aware of everything that can go wrong in a pregnancy at my age. Those eggs are getting old, sweetheart!”

“We’ll have the best care for you, love, and whatever testing we need, okay?”

I nodded and sniffed as the tears started again. I reached over and grabbed a tissue and sat up to blow my nose.

“Where are you going?” he asked, confused.

“I’m sitting up to blow my nose. I’m not going to do it against your chest,” I laughed.

“For heaven’s sake, come back here!” He gently tugged on my arm and I lay back down, still dabbing at my nose.

We were both quiet for a few moments, each of us lost in our own thoughts. Finally Adam asked what I wanted to do about the honeymoon. I had all but forgotten about that in the midst of all this.

“Do you mind if we just sort of postpone it? I want to get to a doctor as soon as possible and then there is everyone to tell and…” My mind was flooded with so many details.

“Family dinner, tomorrow night while most of the family is still here?” he asked.

“Okay, let’s do it.” I laughed as I thought about telling our parents. This was going to be priceless!

Monday, May 03, 2010

Sarah's Pregnancy Diary - Part One

Baby, Baby, Baby…

I looked at the pregnancy test, blinking once, twice as I tried to comprehend the results. As one of my favorite author’s – Rita Mae Brown says in Bingo, I didn’t know whether to shit, run or go blind. All I knew was that my heart was racing wildly one minute and threatening to stop the next.

Pregnant? Really? I was PREGNANT???

I looked up at Lissa, confused and said, “How could this happen?”

I heard a loud snort of laughter from Cassie and cast a sideways look at her, irritation spiking across my face. I frowned at her, a look that said, “Shut up now!” She ignored it of course and was practically jumping up and down with glee.

Adam was still sitting next to me, perched on the arm of the chair. I felt him rubbing my back, the pace increasing as he tried valiantly to calm me down. I looked up at him and met his gaze, concern written across his face. But there was also a spark of pride and humor I noticed. He was doing his best to be ‘there’ for me, supportive and caring.

Give it up Adam, before I scream!

“Uh, Mom,” Lissa began, trying to pick her words carefully. I was a woman on the edge and all three of them knew it. “Mom, I think you know how this happens!” She gave me an impish grin, adding, “I mean, I don’t really have to explain it to you do I?”

“That’s NOT what I mean Lissa, you know that. I mean, my God, I’m in the middle of the change, how can I be pregnant? I think we need another test!” I declared.

Lissa just shook her head and pulled another test out of her purse. I heard Cassie murmur, “I TOLD you so!”

“Evil, you are evil, do you know that Cassandra Elaine Banks?”

“Evil? No, but I am going to be an auntie again!” She came over to me and knelt down and hugged me, hard and that’s when I broke down in to tears; hot, streaming tears that painted my face in as I hiccupped softly.

“Sarah, go and take the other test, just so you can be sure and then, well, we’ll see what happens next,” she told me.

I nodded, scared and miserable. So many thoughts were going through my head; being pregnant at my age is a daunting undertaking at best. So much can be wrong, can go wrong. I took the test from Lissa and headed into the bathroom again; my walk felt mechanical, as if I was guided by remote control. When I was finished I stood looking at myself in the mirror, still feeling bewildered by it all.

I turned my head this was and that. I didn’t look my age, I was in good health, but could I handle this I wondered?

What do I do?

Copyright 2010 by Cynthia Hope Hodge

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