Monday, June 28, 2010

Sarah's Pregnancy Diary - Part Five

But I Don’t Wanna…

The past couple of weeks have flown by, let me tell you. Every day I stop and stare at the picture of our baby. We did the cliché thing and hung it on the refrigerator, but we do see it often there I’ll admit! I often stop and trace the outline of our baby with the tip of my finger, anxious to hold it in my arms!

All the family finally left to go back to their respective homes; the house seems empty and I must admit a little bit barren. I love them all so much and the only sad thing about my life here is that they aren’t here. I have such a wonderful support system around me, I’m lucky in that and I know that many of them will be back for the birth but it was still hard to see them go.

We spent time getting to know Daniel and he is just the best baby! Much like Derek he eats well, sleeps well and is growing like the perpetual weed. I watched Adam with him and loved how comfortable he is with him whether he’s feeding him, holding him or singing him a lullaby. It bodes well for our child I think, to have such a loving and caring man to be his or her father.

The hardest thing to do was to see Cassie go; I felt like we were finally having an opportunity to reconnect after the accident. She and Georgio were heading back to Greece, it seems like there was some sort of family thing going on there and he was needed so we said goodbye at LAX, both of us blinking back tears.

My morning sickness is finally getting better and I am thrilled about that! Unfortunately though, smells are still making me queasy, but it does pass quickly. I can think something like bacon smells horrible one moment; I’m convinced that it is bad but the next I can eat it like a champion! Adam just laughs and shakes his head in amazement at it all.

He tries so hard to be thoughtful and helpful and I appreciate that, I really do. But, and there really is a but here, when I’m sick he really needs to back off. I am not comforted by his standing there next to me when I’m barfing in the toilet. It’s not a pretty picture and I think very few women would appreciate his hovering. Oh well, we are both learning I guess.

This morning at breakfast he seemed a bit nervous. He was sipping his coffee, which he had offered to give up since I couldn’t have any, but I’d told him that both of us didn’t need to suffer! Anyway, he finally cleared his throat and said hesitantly, “Sarah, we need to talk about the house.”
My heart skipped a beat; I knew this discussion would be coming sooner or later and I had been dreading it. Obviously by the way he was so reticent, so was he. I finally nodded and said, “Yeah, I know Adam.”

“I – I know you don’t want to give this house up, I do, but it just isn’t practical. We need to find a new one, or build one.” He sat his coffee mug down and looked at me as I was eating my melon. “Do you have any preferences? I mean, what type of house or where you want to live or anything? I’m thinking at least five bedrooms, six would be better don’t you think, for when family is visiting?”
I looked around this house that was so dear to me and sighed – I loved this house but he was right, we had to have more room. I finally answered, “I don’t know, I’m not even sure where to start answering those questions.”

“Well, what do you love about this house? Let’s start there,” he asked.

“I love everything about it; it’s where I found myself, where my new life began, Adam. It is tearing my heart out to think of leaving it.”

He smiled at me then and I knew he understood. “Okay then, I understand that. Why don’t we keep it; we can use it for weekend getaways or such?”

“I love that idea!” Suddenly it didn’t feel so bad any more. “Now, what do I love about it in particular? I love watching the sun set over the ocean and the warm, salty breeze that blows in through the windows.”

“Okay, by the ocean then! See, we have a start, bella!”

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words…

After our family dinner I settled down for a day or two, trying to get my feelings and body under control. The morning sickness seemed to come and go and it didn’t really matter what time of the day or night it hit. There was also a new development – smells were making me queasy too.

All of the family was excited about the news and don’t get me wrong, I was too but it was hard right now when any movement, any smell made me retch. I never had morning sickness with either of my other two and this worried me. Suppose something was wrong with this baby or this pregnancy?

Tamara gave me the name of her OB/GYN and I made an appointment yesterday. Given my age they decided to get me in immediately and so tomorrow Adam and I would go for my first prenatal examination.

I was actually feeling pretty good this morning. At times like these I feel so excited – Adam and I were going to have a baby! Would it be a boy or a girl? Did we want to know? We asked each other a million questions and had made a list to take to the doctor with us.

Her name was Dr. Bridges and we both liked her immediately. This was not the same doctor that Tamara had had with the boys so she was meeting us both for the first time. She was about our age we decided and was very matter-of-fact, open to all our questions too; she never once looked at her watch as if to say, ”okay, let’s hurry up”.

She confirmed it (not that I had any doubts), I’m pregnant, the ultrasound would tell us how far along I was. Yes, she would probably do an amniocentesis around 20 weeks, just to be sure everything was well. But she felt confident that it would be okay for me, I was in great health otherwise and both of my other two pregnancies had gone fine.

Adam and I waited in the exam room for her to come in to perform the ultrasound. I was on the table in the little mini-gown with a sheet draped over my lower body since she was going to perform a pelvic as well. Adam paced nervously around the small room, stopping occasionally to look at something that caught his eye, which was funny because most of what was in there was all pregnancy related.

Finally, there was a tap on the door and Dr. Bridges popped her head in and asked if we were ready for her. As she heard us both exclaim ‘Yes!’ she smiled and stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

She turned the ultrasound machine on and lifted the sheet from my belly. I took a deep breath as I felt the icy-feeling gel hit my abdomen and she grinned and said, “Just making sure you are paying attention!”

I felt the head of the probe touch my stomach and I jumped; it was all becoming so real now. She moved it around a bit to spread the gel around and finally she focused in on one area and smiled.

“There you are! That is your baby,” she told us. “See this thing right here?” She indicated a tiny spot on the monitor that seemed to be pulsing. “That is the heartbeat, good and strong!” She pressed a button on the machine and it took a picture of the screen. After several more angles and several more pictures she finally turned the machine off and handed me some tissue to wipe the goop off of my stomach with.

Well Sarah, the ultrasound indicates that you are 7 weeks along” she told us, smiling at our surprise. “So that gives you a due date of January 2nd! How about that?”

I looked at Adam; we both had tears in our eyes. We nodded in excitement and anticipation. Adam leaned down and kissed me and I grabbed for his hand.

“That sounds good,” I managed. No, that was wrong I decided, that sounded great!

***OOPS! Bad Hope! I forgot to schedule this to post on Monday. Thanks so much Rosenina for the reminder!

Copyright 2010 by Cynthia Hope Hodge

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