Friday, January 26, 2007

Saying Goodbye

Chapter Forty-Eight
Adam talked to Bobby, who was only to happy to come and stay for awhile longer. I decided that I needed to go to the grocery store if I was going to have anything to feed him, but of course I had to wait until the installer’s were done in order for Adam to be able to leave the house.

Still not being able to drive was very frustrating. I really felt wonderful, not even any headaches. I was hopeful that when I see Dr. Crandal next week she will let me drive. I know that my mom and dad will be glad to help out and there are always taxis but I just want to be able to drive myself.

The installer’s weren’t done until almost 4:30, but at least that had given me time to go through the kitchen and figure out want I really needed. Plus, feeding Bobby for almost a week would definitely take more groceries. It cost me over a hundred dollars at the store, and when Adam looked at my determined face, he knew enough not to offer to pay for it.

Which was good I thought after I saw the bill for the security system; almost 5 thousand dollars, but it was state of the art. The monthly monitoring was going to be almost $120 all on its own. But there were motion sensor lights, an alarm system that included several hidden cameras and a voice recognition system that could be activated by either my voice or Adam’s.

Adam was quiet all the way through the grocery store, only shrugging when I asked him what he wanted for dinner. I think this must be the gloomy side of Adam that Tamara told me about. I understood that, but despite how Adam feels, life is going on. He is going to leave tomorrow evening and we are going to be apart for a week or so. I hated that; it felt like a part of myself would be gone, but the time would pass. I didn’t know anyway to get through it other than to just do it.

It didn’t feel quite the same as when I left Italy. I knew then that Adam and I wanted to be together again true, but things weren’t as evolved for us then. Now, we are together and our relationship now has many more different layers than it did then.

When I left Italy, we knew that we wanted to be together, that we wanted to learn more about one another. Now, we’re past that part, we have already started blending our lives, our family’s lives. We have a vision of the future, of where we are heading and there is a great deal of comfort in that I am finding. So when he goes away, I won’t be fretting if I will really see him again; I know that I will.

I was making some Pasta Carbonara for dinner when I heard Adam put some music on the stereo. I didn’t have a fancy system that had speakers all over the house, so he just turned it up a bit and headed into the kitchen. He had put on Diamond Rio’s One More Day and I smiled, although it was a wry kind of smile.

He came up behind me while I was browning the pancetta and shallots. He put his arms around me and laid his head against the side of mine. He didn’t say a word, just held me, which was almost worse. I am getting so used to these ordinary gestures between us; simple contacts that communicate our feelings for one another and I know that I was going to miss them terribly. I never wanted him to stop and yet it made it harder when he did them.

I set the wooden spoon down that I was using to stir the pancetta with and turned around in his arms; entwining my own around his neck. I stood up on tip toe to kiss him, a soft and gentle kiss and he sighed against my lips.

“Mm,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against mine. His arms wrapped more tightly around my waist, pulling me firmly against him. My belly lay flush up against his hips and I could feel him stiffening in response.

The title song came on then, One More Day and I listened to the lyrics for a moment.

I didn’t ask for money,
Or a mansion in Malibu,
I simply asked for one more day with you.
One more day,
One more time,
One more sunset maybe I’d be satisfied.
But then again,
I know what it would do,
Leave me wishing still for
One more day with you.

And I realized how precious this time with him was, this minute, this breathless moment.

I reached around behind me and turned the stove off, and then on second thought, moved the skillet off of the burner, and then I wrapped myself back around him. He reached down and lifted my hips and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our mouths were fused together, hungrily fastened together as the kiss became deeper still.

He carried me into the bedroom and let me down near the bed. We stood there gazing into one another’s eyes for a long, breathless moment and the reflections in them told us all we needed to know; that we loved each other, that we each felt hopelessly lost about the coming separation.

Adam’s warm hands tenderly cupped my face, embracing it gently. His long fingers lovingly caressed my cheeks, before he bent his ardent lips to capture mine again. The kiss consumed us both, our lips clinging enticingly to one another’s.

He slowly unbuttoned my blouse, carefully pulling each button aside in order to kiss the soft skin below it, until he had it undone completely. He slid it slowly down my shoulders as his lips returned slowly to my lips, traveling hotly over my sensitive neck, bringing me shivers of delight. He pulled me against his body once again and I was enveloped in his warm arms. That kiss went on and on until I was practically senseless and knew only intense desire. But there was nothing hurried about his touch, his lips; they moved slowly, tantalizingly, making me yearn for all he could give me.

I felt his hands move to my back and leisurely unfasten my bra before they teased up and down my bare spine. His hands traveled back up to my shoulders and slid my straps down and slowly pulled the soft and lacy cups of my bra free from my breasts and then the bra fell away to the floor, following the shirt that was already forgotten.

His mouth stole wetly down to draw lazy circles around my nipples, making them long for his attention all the more. As his tongue flicked over those hardened bits of aching flesh I let out a low moan of desire, urging him on.

I felt his hands on the button of my jeans and then move to slide the zipper down smoothly. As his hands were sliding down my hips to tug my jeans off, his mouth was placing tormenting kisses along my quivering belly. As I stepped out of them, he took a step back and quickly pulled his own clothes off. I reached out to help and he brought my hands to his mouth so he could kiss them, drawing in my fingers one at a time and sucking them lightly. It was driving me mad with desire and I again reached for his jeans and he shook his head no and finished undressing while I stood there, watching him.

My breath caught in my throat as I saw his desire for me; standing upright proudly. Shivers of anticipation were tracking up and down my spine and I wanted to hurry to feel him inside of me.

We moved to the bed and he pulled me up next to him and again his tongue explored my mouth slowly; tracing the outline of my lips and then darting back in to delve deeply into my mouth.

Every move he was making was agonizingly slow, as if his sole purpose was to keep me on the edge of passion. He moved slowly to part my thighs with his hands and I felt his fingers reach out and gently explore my wet and throbbing flesh; as if to ensure that I was ready for him. I bucked against his hand when I felt his touch and as he gently slid his finger inside of me, my legs involuntarily closed and I felt the first delightful shudders of an orgasm take me. It was slow and sweet and his eyes never left mine as I came; the intimacy made me softly cry out his name.

He moved to push inside of my still quivering body and entered my aching folds slowly, pushing himself in as deeply as he could and stayed that way for a long moment.

He reached both hands up to capture mine and our fingers entwined intimately. Again his eyes traveled to mine and our gazes locked as he started moving inside of me. Each stroke was slow and intense; lingering tantalizingly at the entrance of passion, before thrusting deeply into me, again and again. He made love to me as if I were reverent; evoking passion so deeply within me that I felt light-headed. I only knew the feel of him, my senses fervently burning with desire as we stared into one another’s eyes. And then we were at the edge, locked together in the dance of passion, slowly climbing the peak and tumbling irresistibly over the edge.

Our eyes never left one others, even as the shudders of release took us and we gasped out one another’s names. Only then did he finally bring his mouth to mine, his kiss lingering softly against my lips. He rolled over and pulled me with him and we stayed that way, for the longest time, not speaking and listening to each others hearts as they beat achingly for the other.

No one had ever made love to me like that before I realized as the shivers and contractions of my body slowly subsided. I felt as if the whole thing was meant for my desire, my release. He had gone agonizingly slow, even when he certainly must have wanted not to. And his eyes had made love to mine as surely as his body had made love to mine.

I remember him pulling the covers up over us and sleep beckoning to me. Forgotten was dinner as I lie in his arms and soon we were both sleeping deeply.

I woke up around 2:00 am and it was my stomach that was growling. I slipped out of bed and found my robe hanging on the back of the door and put it on. I cautiously opened the door and headed to the kitchen.

The cold remains of our unfinished dinner sat staring at me from the stove and counter and I began to toss it all out. The pancetta was too far gone to save and it went down the garbage disposal without a second thought, as did the half-chopped vegetables. It didn’t take long before it was all done and I tried to decide what I wanted to eat.

It was between a bowl of cereal and my old standby—an apple and peanut butter. I was leaning up to reach for the peanut butter when Adam came into the kitchen. His hair was mussed, standing up in spots and he had a sleepy smile on his face.

“Please love, no peanut butter,” he asked as he came over and pulled me to him for a kiss.

“Okay,” I stated, deciding to take a stand. “Will you please tell me exactly what you have against peanut butter?”

“I – it’s just, uh, I just find it repulsive!” he told me, a shudder running through him.

“What do you find repulsive about it?” I could see that he really felt strongly about it and I was very curious. “Adam, please?”

“It’s just that when we were very small, sometimes that would be the only thing that we had to eat, us kids I mean. Mom and dad would be off at some village and they always kept jars of peanut butter on hand. I mean, before I learned to cook, there often wasn’t anything that would be safe for us. But there were always jars of peanut butter. I know it’s nutritious and all; but I just can’t stand it. Even just looking at it makes my stomach queasy. Stupid, I know,” he finished apologetically.

I thought about this for a few moments. I adore peanut butter. I can’t imagine not eating peanut butter. Compromise, that’s the only way to go here.

“All right Adam,” I answered. “Here is what we will do. As strongly as you despise it, I adore it. But I will only eat peanut butter when you aren’t around to see it. But I’m still buying it and having it in the house, okay? I’ll just try to remember that it makes you feel ill.”

He smiled, a rather sheepish smile true, but it was sincerely happy. “Thank you love. Now, I’m starving, so let me get us a bite together!” he said, digging through the cabinets gathering ingredients.

“I’ll just make us some pancakes, shall I?” he asked, pulling out ingredients to make them from scratch, which I hadn’t done for years. I’m not sure if I’ve grown lazy or just decided that the mixes were as good as anything I could come up with, but whatever, I always use a pancake mix.

While he got the batter ready I pulled syrup out of the cabinet and then the butter out of the fridge. I also grabbed the milk and poured myself a big glass, which Adam reached for and drank half of while smiling at me, his eyes twinkling.

I was watching him standing in the kitchen, wearing his bathrobe as he flipped pancakes. It was surprisingly sexy and very comforting. And the thought came to me that this time tomorrow he would be in Dallas and I wouldn’t.

A huge lump rose quickly in my throat and I turned away from him to swallow it down. I didn’t want him to see me upset that he was going; it would make an already difficult situation even worse. I got my emotions under control and went over to the stove, watching him pull the last of the pancakes off the griddle. There was an impossibly huge stack of them and I was positive we wouldn’t even be able to make a dent. I refilled my glass of milk and poured another for Adam and we sat down at the table to eat.

I was wrong though, we ate every last one of those pancakes and I certainly did my fair share. They were light and fluffy and utterly delicious and the maple syrup soaked right into them. I felt roly-poly by the time I pushed myself away from the table.

We quickly cleared the dishes up and got everything squared away in the kitchen. I turned the light off and we headed back into the bedroom and I noticed that it was a little after 3:00 as I crawled back into the chilly sheets of the bed.

Adam settled beside me and he turned the TV on, searching through the channels to find something to watch. We found about 50 channels with infomercials playing and a dozen sports events.

Great. I know what we’ll have on!

But surprisingly, Adam turned the set off and we sat there in the dim light of the lamp, with nothing to do. Adam put his arm around me and we were just quiet for a few minutes.

I could tell that something was on his mind and all I could do was just wait until he decided to speak. Luckily, I didn’t have too long to wait.

“I have never ever before wanted to not go to work on a film. But I don’t want to go this time. I don’t want to leave you behind.”

“I know Adam, but it won’t be for long. I will be okay and so will you. It just doesn’t feel like that right now.”

“Um, that is true. I’m going to speak to William about taking some time off in the spring, if possible. We can go to Angelica and Dumonde’s wedding and then wherever we want after that.”

“Who is William? I heard you mention his name in California.”

“He is my agent; he handles my bookings and schedule. I know that I am scheduled to work on a film early next January that will probably shoot for 6 - 7 weeks or so, but hopefully it will be done, or my part anyway by the 14th. How would you like to see Africa love?”

“I’d love to see Africa,” I told him. But I was wondering about my job and what the future held for me. Could I continue at my job and be content to let Adam go and make movies where ever he was scheduled? I trusted him completely, but I hated the thought of those long absences. And I wasn’t even sure I wanted to stay here now. I loved the house in California; I had felt at home there. But Lissa will be here, and Mom and Dad and Cassie. And the question was, would I even stay there or go with Adam? I didn’t know and there were so many questions that didn’t have any answers right now.

One day at a time Sarah!

“Tell me about Angelica and Dumonde. That name sounds French maybe?”

“Yes, it is a French name. Dumonde Darikhouran actually. His mother is French and his dad is from Burkina Fuso, where Dumonde’s home is. He is also a doctor and he and Angelica have been together for 15 years. I find it almost amusing that they are getting married; it just never seemed as if they would.”

“I have never heard of Burkina Fuso. Tell me about it. Have you ever been there?”

“Um, I haven’t ever been there. It is west of Niger, I know that much and it used to be a French protectorate. I think they had a lot of civil unrest before they became independent from France. I know also that it is an horribly poor country. Angelica and Dumonde spend as much time there as they do in the Sudan.”

“And Angelica is older than you I believe you told me?”

“Yes, she is 2 years older. From the time she was a toddler, mom and dad said she followed them around with an old stethoscope, listening to anything that moved. They always knew she would be a doctor.”

‘You told me they are in the Sudan didn’t you? Where at?” I asked. I knew very little about Africa, but I was interested in hearing more about it.

“Right now they are in a small village called Nod Amar, which is very near the town of Juba. The African droughts have been devastating to many areas of Africa and the Sudan is one of the hardest hit. The land is mostly arid and provides very little natural ability for farming. And in Darfur, thousands of people have died due to the systematic killings in villages. It is a very sad place. I worry greatly about Mom, Dad and Angelica. It is still not politically stable and outsiders are often viewed with fear and suspicion. But of course, they feel they are needed there and won’t leave, other than briefly for visits home or things like the medical conference.” Adam seemed sad as he told me all of this and given the new side of him Tamara told me about and that I was only beginning to see, I understood his fears.

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I was quiet. We both were and gradually we both were stifling yawns. After about the 3rd one I giggled and said, “Maybe we should try to get back to sleep.” I stretched up to kiss him and his warm lips met me halfway.

“I love you Adam,” I told him. Actually, my heart was over-flowing with love for him. I felt as if there weren’t adequate words to describe my feelings.

“I love you too. Goodnight Sarah,” he told me as we both scooted down into the bed. He put his arm under my head and I turned to lay with my hand resting on his chest and my leg thrown over his.

My fingers absentmindedly played through the soft and curly hair on his chest and I savored the feel of him. I realized how reluctant I was to go back to sleep; after all, tomorrow I would be alone in this bed. But even reluctance cannot hold out forever when sleep is determined to visit and soon, all too soon in fact I was asleep.


I woke up around 10:00 and l looked over at Adam who was still sleeping. I was still tired, but another vivid dream had woke me up. I shivered involuntarily as I remembered it.

Adam was alone in a room that I couldn’t see clearly. I think he was hurt and he was calling to me, but I couldn’t find him. I couldn’t tell what was wrong exactly, but he was very alone. The place was dark and dank and seemed very cold. I think I could see his breath. He seemed worn out and his calls were becoming more and more feeble and I knew it was terribly important that I find him. And I wasn’t alone, someone was helping me look for him but I didn’t know who it was. I couldn’t even tell if it was a man or woman. I only know that they were as desperate as I was to find him.

I shivered as I remembered the dream, how frantic I was to find him. And I couldn’t help but to wonder who was helping me? Is there someone out there who is on our side; someone who doesn’t want Adam hurt? If so, I wish I knew who they were.

I tried to lie there in the bed quietly and not squirm, but I finally realized that was futile and I was going to wake Adam up, so I slid cautiously toward the edge of the bed and sat up. I peeked over my shoulder and Adam was sleeping still so I got up and headed into the bathroom. I wanted to take a bath to dispel the chills from my strange dream.

I ran a bath and poured some magnolia scented bubble bath into the streaming water and inhaled the soothing fragrance. Pearlescent bubbles started growing in the water as if by magic and it made me think of the thousands of times I had performed this bath ritual, and how I almost always felt better afterward.

I turned the taps off and climbed into the tub, sinking down with a sigh. I had pulled my hair up into a pony tail on top of my head, so I laid back and let the relaxing warmth penetrate my chilled body. I closed my eyes and tried to remember more about the dream. It was so oddly disturbing and lucid and I felt as if there was something important about it that I needed to remember.

“Good morning love,” Adam’s sleepy voice said to me, only slightly disturbing my thoughts.

I looked up to see him standing in the doorway of the bathroom, staring at me with a drowsy look in his eyes.

“Good morning back. Did you get enough sleep?”

“Yes, I guess. I, uh, didn’t mean to disturb your bath though.”

“You’re not. I was just a bit chilly and so I decided to get into a warm bath,” I told him, shooing playful bubbles away from my face.

“You have no idea how adorable you look right now, do you? Your cheeks are pink and glowing and those lucky bubbles are hiding all your most delicious parts. I do believe I’m a bit jealous.” He was smiling at me and it melted my heart.

“Really? I had no idea!” I laughed.

“Why yes, I do believe I am a bit jealous indeed,” he said softly. His voice had taken on that husky tone that told me he was thinking about me in a more, shall we say exposed way?

“Hm. Perhaps they might share, if you asked nicely,” I teased him. I was serious but part of me wondered how on earth we could both possibly fit into this tub. I didn’t have to wonder for very long though.

We did fit. Really well!



When we climbed out of the tub my hair was soaking wet, but then so was his. But we were both smiling about it so I guess it was okay. There was also a veritable lake on the floor that all had to be cleaned up but we did it with huge smiles on our faces.

We both got dressed and headed into the kitchen to find some breakfast. Adam fixed scrambled eggs and I just smiled as I saw him adding some wine into them. I guess what works for omelet can work for the eggs as well. I made toast and grabbed a couple of bananas out of the fruit bowl to go with the eggs and toast.

We didn’t dawdle over it any; we wanted to get to the hospital to see Cass. I was so happy to see her yesterday and I couldn’t wait to see her again today. I hoped to spend a lot of time with her this week. Partly that would be out of guilt since I would be gone next week to Dallas with Adam. But I was so proud of Cassie; she had worked so hard to get better and her determination was admirable.

Our visit with her flew by; she had walked a few more steps and was again sitting up. Right before we left Dr. Gorman stopped in. I found that interesting since it was Sunday and it seemed unlikely to me that he would be doing any rounds, but what did I know. And then I noticed how he and Cass were looking at one another and it all made perfect sense. We said our goodbyes, and she got a little teary when Adam kissed her on the cheek.

“Hey,” he told her. “You need to work really hard because I want you to be able to come to Dallas before the movie is done so you can visit the set. You’ll get to meet Paul Hallenbach!”

“You know what? I don’t think he can hold a candle to Adam Richland!” she quipped to him and he smiled and ruffled her hair.

“See you Red,” he laughed and we waved goodbye and left the room, leaving Cassie’s mouth gaping open in surprise.

The rest of our day was spent quietly, curled up together watching TV. Around 5:00 Adam went in to fix some dinner, but neither of us had any appetite and so we just snacked on some crab dip and crackers that we had bought. Bobby wasn’t due until around 7:00, which was about the time that Adam was leaving for the airport.

My parents had offered to take us to the airport, but Adam had decided to catch a cab and go on his own. I think he thought it would be easier for us both, but the thought of it was ripping my heart out.

“Sarah, it’s not like you can go with me to the gate to wait. You have to leave me in the visitor’s area, so this is better, okay?”

No it wasn’t okay, but arguing hadn’t done any good. He finished packing up everything he needed, but he left quite a few things here, which in some ways made it worse. That really sounds silly I know, but it made it feel like this was his home too and it made me cry even harder. I tried to explain it to him; I know he thought I was being silly.

“Love, this is my home,” he said, tipping my chin up so he could look into my eyes. “As you said, my home is wherever you are.”

I nodded my head just as we heard the doorbell ring. It was only 6:30 and we looked at each other with puzzled expressions on our faces. I was almost too scared to open the door after the note yesterday morning, but when we looked out, it was Bobby, just a little bit early.

We all sat and chatted for a few minutes when the doorbell rang again and I know that I jumped at the sound. Bobby jumped up and said “I’ll get it,” and it turned out to be Mom and Dad coming to say goodbye.

But more than that, they wouldn’t hear of Adam taking a cab to the airport and were determined that he accepted a ride, and he finally agreed. And so that Mom and Dad wouldn’t have to come all the way over here from the airport, I decided to stay here.

At 7:15 Adam was ready and I walked out to the car with him, reluctant to say the words ‘goodbye’. I stood there, being held in his arms for one last time and I knew my heart was breaking. This was worse than when I left Italy because it was Adam leaving this time. I didn’t care if it was only for a week, it seemed like it would be forever to me.

“All right love. I’ll call you when I get settled in Dallas tonight. It will be late though, okay?”

“Yes,” I agreed, trying so hard not to fall completely apart. “I’ll be waiting, so it doesn’t matter how late it will be. I’ll be waiting…” I trailed off as he climbed into the car. I stood there in the reflections of the lights and waved and then watched as the darkness slowly swallowed them up and it was only Bobby and I standing out side in chilly night air.

“C’mon now Sarah, let’s get inside,” Bobby said, almost having to tug me into the house.

When I got inside I looked around me and the house seemed empty and bereft. Empty of Adam, of my love because he had taken my heart with him.

“Bobby, if you are hungry please feel free to get something to eat or just otherwise make yourself at home. I’m going to go on into my room okay? It’s been a really long day. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Hey Sarah, are you sure you don’t want to watch a movie or something,” he said, trying to help.

I shook my head no, I really only wanted to retreat to our room. It would be probably 4 hours or so before I heard from him and possibly even longer than that, depending on what was going to happen in Dallas. He didn’t even know where he was staying yet.

I went into the bedroom and quietly closed the door, staring around me at the empty room. I wandered into the closet and saw the shirt of Adam’s that I had ripped the button off of still lying on the shelf. I hadn’t fixed it yet, but that didn’t make any difference to me. I pulled my clothes off and slipped the shirt on. I could still just barely smell Adam on the shirt, but it was enough to comfort me and I curled up on the bed in the dark to wait until I could hear his voice. And sometime during that lonely vigil the phone rang and woke me up.


Val said...

Awesome Hope! The way you wrote this really made me feel how desperately they are going to miss each other. It makes me want to go kidnap my hubby for lunch, and he's only gone for work. :) Very romantic and heartwrenching! Thanks Hope, it is a great read today.

Anonymous said...

This just gets better & better! You have such a way of drawing me in to the story. I live for Mon. Wed. & Fri.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for sharing your talent with us. I love the entries; they really make me experience the emotions with the characters. I also appreciate your consistency in posting--you never leave us hanging!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!

reeneez said...

AWESOME, awesome entry today Hope. I could feel every emotion you described AND so wished my relationship was like their's! LOL!! Like I've said before, i live vicariously through Sarah. Looking forward to Monday. Have a wonderful, relaxing weekend! Rene

Lynne said...

Good morning everyone, mom, exce,,ent entry today! I am going to be busy today, but wanted to tell you before I left that I thought it was just grand! Lynne

x5head3pay said...

This was amazing. This entry was as Val said heartwrenching. However, I must say that the love scene was your best yet!!! It showed their passion and their love with such tenderness. It was sexy!


Catrina said...

WOW! I have felt that deep heartache before, and I felt it again with Sarah!
I can hardly wait until Monday!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, this was another great post, all of Sarah's feelings described so intensely that I almost feel a little depressed myself. Thank you, Hope! ;-) I already miss Adam, too!
(I'm luckier than Sarah though, because it's Friday and what awaits me is a weekend with my beloved one...after a long week of separation - so no real need to be depressed!)
Have a nice weekend all of you!

LISA said...


Kristin said...

Good Morning, Everyone! Absolutely great entry today, Hope! I feel like you added the peanut butter episode just for me. And the funny thing is, I actually understand Adam's aversion to it. When I was 10, I was in charge of babysitting my brothers while my mother worked. The only thing I could cook was scrambled eggs, so we ate it ALLLLLL the time. To this day, I can still not eat an egg without turning green... So, even though I was ready to kick Adam to the curb for the cardinal sin of peanut butter avoidance, you found a way for me to forgive him! LOL! You are an awesome story teller!!! Kristin

Hope said...

Good Morning Everyone!

I had to hit the ground running this morning, I tell you...

Not even anytime to sit and enjoy my diet coke! LOL

I am so happy you all liked the entry today, it was one of my favorites to write. I like these tender scenes too.

I read the last comments on the Wednesday's blog last night and I just want to thank everyone for jumping in and being so caring. Lynne's cancer was the scariest thing I have ever faced in my life and writing about it helped me a great deal.

I love the idea of walking for the cure, all around the country, it was a wonderful idea and I hope we can accomplish it.

To any and all of you who has been touched in your lives or the lives of loved one by this vicious creature, my heart goes out to you - whether it is breast cancer or any other type. All are horrible and the emotional toll is as devasting to family and friends as the cancer itself.

You are all becoming such dear friends, I think of you all often and feel almost as if we cozy up with a cup of something warm and talk to each other here on this board. I am just blown away by the mutual respect and caring for one another demonstrated here and I thank each of you personally for that.

So onward and upward. Lunch at La Familia today and boy, I can't wait. I may have a couple of beers if this day doesn't get any better!

Tigger said...

Hope, I admire your ability to take us along on this journey, to make us feel a part of it along with Sarah and Adam.

If you can't find someone to publish your book, they are idiots. You put so many established authors to shame.

Lynne, so sorry about your cancer, but it is fantastic to hear you are doing well now. I'll keep thinking of you with good thoughts!

Tigger, bouncing out...

Anonymous said...

Great entry today. I almost cried when Adam left:( Silly, I know!

My dad had lung cancer 5 years ago and has been beating it. It was very scary to go through and the success rates are ridiculously low. Cancer is a horrible creature and I hope that everyone does anything that they can to get rid of it, all types. (My dads lung cancer was linked to 2nd hand smoke.)

To anyone that is beating cancer, stay strong, stay positive. It makes a difference. My dad is proof that you have to beat cancer head on.


megs said...

Oh Hope, that was wonderful. I love being able to feel what they feel, even when it's sad.

I hope you understand what a rare gift you have, to be able to evoke such emotion from the characters that we share it. Incredible.

Looking forward to lunch today everyone! Hey Rachel, mistress of the party, where are you girl?

Jo said...

OK, I haven't even had time to read the post nor the comments yet today. But I wanted to be sure to get something to eat first! Bring on the tonsil burners! I'm just sitting here with my bib on, knife and fork in each hand.

Seriously, I haven't read the post and didn't want to read the comments in case they "spoiled" it for me. I like to have most of my work out of the way so I can sit and savor each post.

I'm actually here because I did read yesterday's comments. Hugs to Lynne and to others who've dealt with the issue of breast cancer. My sister-in-law had a mastectomy in early 2005. Since then, I've walked in the Susan Komen Walk every year.

Personally, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had a hysterectomy 4 years ago. I've had irregular mammograms since then and have had to have ultrasounds and MRI's galore. It's never easy but you've got to do what you've got to do.

And I've got to get this darn work done so I can get to eating ... um, I mean reading.

Hope said...

Do I hear a party starting out there? Are you getting anxious? I am.

I can't wait to taste the tonsil burner! But maybe only a little. Like Sarah, I can't admit that I can't take it!

Icy cold beer is gonna be the best, I can just tell!

Rachel said...

Good morning Hope and all!
What a happy and sad post today, beautiful though.
What an amazing love scene that was.
Here is a thought though I dont think they should have the voice recognition on the alarm because the stalker could of been watching and perhaps they could use a recording of Adam or Sarah's voice to get in?
Also I think Adam should surprise Sarah by having a really nice tub like his put in her bathroom.
I'm glad that Bobby is staying with Sarah, I dont want anything to happen to her.
Thank you again Lynne for sharing your story with us yesterday, it meant alot to us.
I'm glad that it helped you to talk about it Hope. I would love to walk for the cure this year.
I was so sad to see Adam go, please bring him back safely.
Well I'm getting excited for lunch, I think I will take an ice cold Corona with a lime.
Any ideas for lunch on Monday, Does any one like Red Robin?

Rachel said...

Its lunch time yay!
Who is all joining us today?
Time to try the Tonsil Burner who is going first?

Antoinette said...

Yay, its lunch time! bring on the tonsil burner... and I second rachel on the ice cold corona and lime, mmmm, my favorite, I can taste it now!

Great entry today Hope, I love how you make me feel all the emotions that they are feeling. you are an amazing writer!

Back to lunch, that corona is calling my name!

Hope said...

Okay, the tonsil burner took my breath away! Woo Hoo! But the ice cold Corona hit the spot.

All of them did. (hic)

The enchilada's aren't bad either.

Maybe next week we should consider going someplace in Dallas. Adam will be there...

Matt said...


Got room for a guy who isn't always the best with words?

Hope said...

You bet we got room Matt. 'sides, after a few beers I'll bet we have to beg you to shut up!

rachel said...

Welcome to lunch Matt!
Wow that tonsil burner was hot, but the three corona's I have had already helped. These fajitas sure are good too!
So where are we going monday?

Antoinette said...

Dang, that tonsil burner was hot!!!! Thank goodness for cold beer to take some of the heat off! Well I guess I'll finish off my last corona and get back to work...I'll "see" you all at lunch on Monday! btw, where are we going???

Jo said...

Am I too late? Did I miss lunch? Could I have a couple of Coronas down this end of the bar?

As I was reading, I was thinking that Sarah should go put on one of Adam's shirts so she could feel a little closer to him. And then she did! Great idea.

But I'm still sitting here all weepy. This week is going to seem like forever to Sarah. And Adam too. But I'm interested to find out if the mystery follows Adam to Dallas or stays here with Sarah.

And I'm wondering if it's Adam on the phone. Or someone far more sinister.....???

Rachel said...

Lunch is coming to an end.
I havent heard any ideas for lunch on monday yet, come on dont be shy!

Hope said...

I think I'll invite you all to Sweet Basil here in Wichita. They are the bomb for Italian food and their Italian Margaritas are pretty good too!

Anonymous said...

Boy, I was sitting there choking on the tonsil burner and this poor woman at the end of the bar was crying and drinking down several beers and the next thing I knew she slid right outa that stool!

Whew! She's okay tho!

Rachel said...

Well Sweet basil it is on Monday then!

Anonymous said...

Totally awesome...Hard for me to believe but it just keeps getting better and better.


Macy said...

Oh Hope, you have me crying here. I hate these goodbye scenes between those two, they are so poignant and sad.

they just need to get married! That would help...hehehe

deena said...

one of the comments said they thought this was the best love scene you have written and I totally agree Hope. You could feel their love for one another and also how it just grows for them, as it should in a relationship.

And yes, their parting was heart-wrenching and since I have been there, I know exactly how they feel.

Beautiful Hope, one of the best entries ever!

Becky said...


Just a few words to describe this entry...tender, intimate, passionate, playful, and heartwarming. Wonderful! You always do a fantastic job of showing the growing closeness and use awesome music choices to accentuate the scene. "One More Day" is very special to me...I often think about how I would spend it with my husband. Even the line about the sunsets is meaningful as we loved to watch the beautiful sunsets together. He died suddenly and unexpectedly in August, 2005. Many of Adam's action such as coming up, wrapping his arms around her, and laying his head next to hers remind me of things my Bob would do.


Hope said...


How lucky you are to have such loving memories of your Bob. But still my heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine the loss of a spouse.

Thank you for your lovely comments my friend.

mary jane said...

Good evening All
Sorry I had to miss lunch y'all sounded like you had a good time.
Becky, I am so glad you have such wonderful memories of your Bob.
Hope I startedtocry when I read this entry you are great.
Can not wait until Monday.
Have a great weekend.
( We willl have rain again)

Tara said...

Awesome as always!!!

Jennifer said...

Hey girls,
I'm so sad that I wasn't able to make lunch today, but I had an important date with my 3 & 5-year-old-boys. They got to pick lunch today and the culinary experts that they are, chose Coscto pizza! LOL. They are so darn adorable, though, so I couldn't refuse. I was there drinking an ice cold Corona in spirit!

What an amazing entry, Hope. I get up early every Mon, Wed & Fri so I can read it before I have to leave to take my little one to school. My husband teases me about being addicted and he's right!

As far as the Race for the Cure goes. I'm already working getting a team together for the Relay for Life that will be taking place here in June AND I definitely plan on doing the Race with my sis-in-law.

Have a great weekend, everyone!!!

Tara said...


I just sat and read all the comments and I have two things that I want to say... First- The Luch hour sounds like a lot of fun and I will have to join. .. and second- Way to go for the Race fro a Cure!!! My mom has lymphoma and I run on her team in a local road race to raise money for a cure for her cancer. I have run every year for the past 3 years and it is an amazing experience to run for a cure or for someone. My mom wasn't able to run this past Aug and I ran for her and that gave me the inspiration to run in my best time yet!! It was amazing to know that I was running for her because she was too sick form the cancer to run this year. I can't wait for the race this summer I am training already!

Wow.. this comment is getting kind of long-winded (sorry), so I'll wrap it up... Best wishes to you and Lynne and I cant wait for monday's entry and lunch party.

Anonymous said...

I know I'm really really late, but my boyfriend decided to drive drunk last night and was injured in a car accident. I'm soooo sorry. He's ok though, minor injuries, thank goodness.

I have no history of cancer. But glad that you're doing well Lynne. Hope, I'm glad you were able to talk about it.

Hope, amazing entry, whether its because I'm so overwhelmed by what's happened or whether it is because I'm an emotional person this entry had me laughing as well as in tears. Thank you for sharing your talent with us. It is much appreciated.


tita said...

Thanks Hope for this wonderful story....I really like it!!!!
Please go on like this!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Hope,
I just found your blog recently and have been trying to read all entries. You are an amazing writer and I love the story...But I am unable to read "Dangerous Minds" =(

Keep up the great wrok

Engbunny said...

Hi Anonymous - Thanks for stopping by. We have found that at times, you have to keep trying the page to get it to come up. Let us know if you just can't get it.

Thanks! Have a wonderful day!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your response. I have had no luck opening Dangerous Minds and Staying busy..really want to know what the anonymous email to Sarah said.

Have a great day..It's nice and storming here