Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Good News!

Chapter Thirty-Two

I woke up a little before 7:00 and I had totally forgotten about being sick last night. Until I tried to get out of bed that is, and I realized my chest felt as if it was on fire.

Great, I thought, I’ve probably damaged my ribs again. Just freakin' great…

Adam was still sleeping so I carefully got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. I decided I needed a nice long, hot bath, maybe that would help my ribs to feel better, so I got the taps going and dumped in bubble bath. I mean, hey, if I’m going to take a bath, there might as well be bubbles, you know?

I looked into the mirror and realized I would need to wash my hair too; it was a mess from last night, dull and stringy looking. I also decided I probably needed to shave my legs too and put a razor on the edge of the tub as well.

The water felt wonderful as I slid gratefully into it and cautiously laid back. I groaned as I thought about the situation with my mom. I was going to have to call her this morning and apologize. I felt awful as I thought about what I had said to her, although I didn’t think my reaction was bad really, I just should have paid more attention to what I said to her.

I really hadn’t been feeling good by then I remembered. My head was weird feeling, almost like I had taken a narcotic or something. I wondered if there was something wrong with the sushi, but Adam didn’t seem to have been affected and he ate what I did, only more of it of course.

In the end, I just put it all down to my shock about Derek. I offered a heartfelt prayer to God that Derek wouldn’t have to go, and that if he did, to please bring him back to us safe and sound.

I soaked for almost an hour, letting the cold water out and putting fresh hot water in several times and I laughed as I looked at my pruney looking hands and feet. I decided that I needed to get my legs shaved and get my hair washed and get out of the tub. I still didn’t hear any sounds from the bedroom, so I guessed Adam was still sleeping. He had probably stayed up late, working on his script. I wondered how he managed to memorize all those lines.

I lifted a leg up and braced it against the wall to shave it and it actually didn’t hurt too much. After I had repeated with the other leg and gave my pits a few swipes as well, I stood up and pulled the shower curtain closed so I could wash my hair.

By the time I got out, I actually felt pretty good. I was under no misconceptions that I was going to be able to wear one of my under wire bras, but all in all, after last night, things seemed better that I expected.

I quietly opened the door and peeked out. Adam was still sleeping, but he had turned over onto his side, the side that would normally face me. I wonder if he had reached out for me and I smiled at the thought. It was a little after 8:00 now and my doctor appointment was in an hour and a 45 minutes, so I pulled on a robe and headed into the kitchen to fix some breakfast.

I spotted the empty iced tea pitcher on the counter and grimaced. Right now it only reminded me of last night I thought, shaking my head in revulsion. I pushed it to the back of the counter and made a mental note to wash it later.

I pulled some sausages out of the fridge, remembering yesterday when we had bought them. Adam had called them ‘bangers’ and said that if you cooked them with potatoes, it would be called ‘bangers and mash’. The British certainly have a colorful way with their part of the English language, that’s for sure! No potatoes this morning, but I grabbed some eggs and decided to scramble them, whipping them lightly while the sausage was cooking.

Adam came wandering into the kitchen then, nose sniffing the air appreciatively. I grinned inwardly, thinking that of course food would wake him. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck with his warm lips.

“Good morning love. How are you feeling?”

“Not bad at all actually. I’m kind of surprised at that,” I told him, enjoying the feel of his arms and lips.

“Um, you smell wonderful. Some kind of flower this morning?”

“Yes, Sweet Pea. And I’m surprised you would notice, what with the smell of the ‘bangers’ cooking! Want to make the toast please?”

He grinned at me, and then bent to kiss my mouth and for just a moment, the world stopped. The only thing in the world was our lips, moving softly against each others.

“I’ll be delighted to make the toast!” he told me, slowly letting his arms slip around me to his side. I watched him walk the short distance to the counter where the toaster was, his distinctive gait familiar and dear to me.

We were quiet as we got breakfast finished and onto the table. Adam wanted coffee, but I didn’t know that I could handle it, so I got some juice out of the fridge. He decided he’d have some of that too, so I grabbed another glass and sat down at the table in the breakfast nook.

The nook had been added onto the house sometime after it had been built. Three of the walls surrounding it were made of windows, or at least the top half was. There was white wainscoting that came part of the way up the wall with windows the rest of the way up. The nook looked out to the south and east and gave its inhabitants a glorious view year round. This fall morning was spectacular, the brilliantly colored foliage and gentle hills of the park made it seem as if you were out in the country rather than right in the middle of town. The sky was a bright vivid blue, but I noticed heavy grey clouds off to the far south and thought they looked as if they could bring rain. It often happens like this here in Kansas, one minute it’s bright and clear, the next pouring rain. I remembered the day with Cassie in the car and I hoped today’s rain wouldn’t be quite so relentless and torrential.

I looked away from the windows then and caught Adam looking at me, a slight smile on his face. I smiled back and for a moment my heart skipped a beat or two as our eyes locked and there wasn’t anything or anyone in the world but us. I felt so happy, unbelievably happy in fact. It seemed impossible, that I had met this awesome man and that he cared for me. My life had taken a full circle trip and I was right back where I started—but in a totally different way.

I’m the same person I always had been, which was amazing to me. With every man I had spent time with, it seemed as if I always surrendered a part of myself for them. Not that they asked me to do that really, it’s just that you try to be who you think they want you to be, who you think you should be, rather than who you really are. Invariably this in a mistake. I remember years ago hearing the saying “Women marry men hoping they’ll change and men marry women hoping they won’t”.

Not that we don’t all change and grow as people, as human beings, we do—it’s inherent in our makeup. But that change is natural, a process of growth and knowledge. So often the change happens so slowly, we don’t even realize it. That kind of change is to be expected and cherished. It’s the other change that we try to do, to manufacture so to speak, trying to remake ourselves for the sake of someone else that is wrong. It usually doesn’t work either and when it fails, as it almost always does, the person who had seen us, in both our human habitations is then confused. How can they know who we are if we don’t know ourselves?

I’d done that so many times, thinking that if I just tried a little more, it would all be okay. That I would reach threshold, where magically, I would be whole and totally lovable. And if I was lovable, then I could love in return.

So at the beginning of a romance, I played with them, making them believe I was something I was not, that my heart and mind were open and ready to be in love. But it never happened because I would shut myself off when they did start to care. I would revert to my normal behavior, withholding myself, my thoughts and feelings until whatever man was in my life would surrender. By the time I walked away, they were congratulating themselves on surviving their close call with the ice queen. Not one of those men, not even Jason ever knew who I really was.

But with Adam it had been different from the start. He never saw anyone other than the real Sarah and the reason for that was because I never believed for a moment that there was going to be anything more than those few days in Italy. There was no reason to try to remake myself; he’d never really see the real Sarah because he wouldn’t be around that long.

And yet, here we were.

He was now a vital part of my life, the real Sarah’s life and the amazing thing was, he loved me. He saw exactly who I am, all my fears, my weaknesses, my fragile and frightened heart and he still loves me!

Adam asked me a question, thankfully pulling me from my solemn thoughts, although I didn’t quite catch it.

“Um sorry, what did you ask?”

“Are you ready to go to the doctor?”

I smiled at him, but it was a sad smile I felt sure. “Yes, I guess. Better to just get it over with.”

“Whatever she says will be okay, we’ll deal with it Sarah.” For a moment, I saw something flash in his eyes, something that looked suspiciously like passion and I wondered how many more nights we could share that bed and not make love.

Just the memory brought arousal rushing through my body, memories of his touch setting me afire and making me squirm in my seat. I felt myself flush deeply, and it spread quickly down my body. I folded my arms in front of my chest, trying to hide my obvious signs of arousal from him, but when I looked at him, I saw that he knew what I was trying to hide. I leaned back against the chair back and let out a deep and shaky breath, trying to look anywhere but at Adam, but not surprisingly, my eyes stayed riveted on his.

He said nothing to me, but his eyes promised me much. That soon, nothing would keep us apart and that our bodies and souls would again know the exquisite joy that we once shared. That our hearts and minds would know the warmth and comfort found only in the journey that they share.

Love is no longer just a destination for me; love is the journey itself.

I stood up and gathered our plates and took them into the kitchen. Adam followed with the rest of the dishes and I shooed him out of the kitchen by telling him he needed to get into the shower while I got the dishwasher loaded. We needed to leave for the doctor’s office in about half an hour and I could load the dishes in faster myself than with Adam helping!

As soon as that was done I went into the bedroom to get dressed. I was tempted to try one of my under wire bras, but decided against it, instead putting on one of the sports bras again. They sure don’t do anything for my boobs I thought again as I stood looking in the mirror, but as Adam says; it won’t be forever I thought with a huge sigh.

The clouds had moved in closer so Adam put the top up on the mustang, just in case. I smiled at him and whistled when I saw him after he had dressed. He was again in ‘disguise’, wearing the ball cap, sunglasses and a very tight pair of faded jeans. Damn, he looked sexy in them. From the grin he gave me, I think he knew what I thought too!

At the doctors office I didn’t have to wait long, which was great because the seats in the waiting area definitely were not comfortable. Adam had brought his script along to read while I was seeing the doctor, and he smiled at me absentmindedly, already absorbed in it when they called my name.

Oh, the dreaded weigh-in I thought as the nurse led me to the scales. I hated this part of any doctor visit. I stepped up on the platform and waited as the nurse moved the little balance things around. When they didn’t do what she wanted them to do, she looked at my chart and moved them to somewhere different.

Great, I’ve gained more weight!
“Sarah, you’ve lost 6 pounds! Good for you!” she told me enthusiastically, helping me down. I followed her into the examination room and I was in a daze. Six pounds, how can that be? After all I’d eaten in Italy and my limited activity since I’d been home? But I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and thought the day was looking up. Maybe everything else would as well.

She took all my other vitals and asked how I had been feeling, etc. and told my Dr. Crandal would be in soon. I sat there on the examination table, idly swinging my feet and trying to be patient. I was rewarded by a short wait for her.

“Hi Sarah. I see you’ve lost 6 pounds! That’s great!”

“I’m sure your scale must be off or something, I don’t see how that could be. I was in Italy for heavens sake—home of all that lovely pasta and gelato. And since then, I’ve been doing nothing but sitting or lying around.”

“Hm yes, but I’m sure you got a lot of exercise in Italy,” she told me, looking at me with a kind smile on her face.

I remembered that ‘exercise’ and an immediate bright red blush swept across my face and chest and I groaned with my embarrassment.

She chuckled and then said, “Well Sarah, I was talking about all the walking and such activities that a typical tourist does, but it’s nice to know you got other kinds of exercise too.” She was writing something in my chart then, and I eyed the pen suspiciously. She wasn’t writing something about sex was she?

“Also, remember that you were unconscious for 4 days when you got home—no food then and I’d be surprised if you weren’t still eating lightly. Am I correct?”

I realized she was right about that and nodded. The truth was, watching Adam devour whatever didn’t move distracted me a good deal, and also, just sharing meals with someone made me eat less. Who would have thought that Adam could be good for a diet?
“Okay, lay back now and raise your arms above your head. Hey, slowly,” she said as I started to lift my arms and groaned as I realized they felt like huge weights. When they were above my head she started to examine my ribs, carefully and it seemed to me, sympathetically prodding them and feeling them lightly. The frown on her face as she worked didn’t seem to bode well I thought.

“Okay, you can set up now,” she told me, placing her hand on my back and to gently lift. It was easier than I expected it to be and that made me smile. They were getting better. “How is you head? Any headaches or dizziness? Blurred vision, double vision, etc.?”

“No, my head has been fine,” I began, and then I remembered last night and told her about it. “I really do think it was just something I ate,” I offered hopefully.

“Hm, could be. And your ribs through all that?”

I laughed shakily and told her, “I thought I was going to die!”

She laughed as well then and made more comments on the chart. “Okay, I’m going to send you back for x-rays, of your chest and head, and then you can get dressed and go back into the waiting room. I’ll call you and Adam when I have reviewed them, okay? That is if you want him there of course?”

“Yes, yes I do. He has been wonderful, he really has.”

“Okay, then I’ll see you in a little while. Karen will be in soon to take you to x-ray,” she said over her shoulder as she was heading out the door.

She was right, Karen was there very quickly and soon the x-rays were done and I was dressed and back with Adam, waiting for Dr. Crandal to call us in.

“How did it go?” Adam asked, closing his script. I noticed he had made notes on it in places, comments that looked like facial expressions and things. Maybe how he thought he character would look perhaps?

“Not bad, but she will call us into her office as soon as the x-rays are developed and she has had a chance to look at them.”

Adam raised his eyebrows at that, and then pursed his lips in a quiet “Hm” and I wondered why. Was it the ‘us’ part or just the x-rays?

I didn’t have long to ponder that thought before Margaret called us back to Dr. Crandal’s office. As I have said, I have been her patient for about 16 years. On the surface, she is very articulate and bright; a progressive doctor who thinks that healing is more than just medicine. So even knowing that, I still always feel amused when I go into her private office.

It is filled with troll dolls, probably a hundred or more. You know those naked little non-gendered dolls with the big bellies and brightly colored hair? Big ones, little ones, pictures, even a troll lamp! They are a delight to the soul. Not because they are attractive or anything, but because they just make you laugh at their stupid smiles and frizzy garish hair and you totally believe that everything will be okay. I watched Adam’s expression as we went in, it would be interesting to see how he would react.

Whether or not he truly got the point or not I’ll never know for sure, but I think he did. He let out a huge belly laugh that was contagious and stopped to admire a few of the dolls. Dr. Crandal was pleased as he complemented her on her fine collection and they shared a few reminisces of the dolls they'd had as kids.

When we had all stopped laughing, Dr. Crandal got down to business. “Sarah, you are doing remarkably well. The head wound has closed another centimeter, which is wonderful. Since you have not experienced any dizziness or headaches, I think it will all heal well. It will probably be another month or so before it has ‘knit’ back together completely, but I have no doubt that it will.” She held up her hand then as I started to speak and said, “But—no driving yet. We have to make sure Sarah. Do you understand?”

“Yes, but how long?” I wasn’t always going to have Adam here to drive me around and the thought of having to rely on friends and family was a dismal one. In retrospect, it didn’t occur to me that I already was relying on Adam.

“A few more weeks, maybe even a month. Sarah, head injuries are very complicated. We just don’t know enough about how the brain works. You probably will not develop seizures, but just in case, we have to keep you safe for awhile longer. How would you feel if you were driving and had a seizure and ran into someone and hurt them, or worse? No, it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

I nodded, disappointed, but she was right. A few weeks won’t matter all that much more I decided.

“The same rules apply as when you left the hospital—no lifting, or straining, okay?” I nodded and she continued, “Now, about the ribs. They look great. I wanted to make sure last evenings episode didn’t cause them any problems, but they are fine. Physically, how are you getting around?”

She hadn’t asked me that when we were alone and I couldn’t help but think the reason for that was because she wanted me to answer honestly, which I would do in front of Adam. Inwardly I laughed at how well she knew me—I just might have fibbed a little to her when we were alone. The look she was giving me told me that she knew that.

“Mostly, things are fine. I have been very careful NOT to strain or overexert myself and Adam has been your faithful watchdog about that as well. I still can’t wear my under wire bras though,” I reluctantly told her. I just knew it was going to tell her that things weren’t quite as good as she thought.

She burst out into the most incredulous laughter at that. “Hell Sarah, most women can’t stand them on a good day! I really don’t see that as a problem, okay, so stop worrying.”

I looked at Adam, who had his lips tightly pursed together, in order to avoid laughing himself most likely. But his eyes were sparkling brightly and I saw that it was very difficult for him to control himself.

“Uh, when can we, uh, be intimate again?” I held my breath as I asked, afraid of her answer.

“That’s pretty much up to you at this point. You can resume normal relations as soon as you think you can handle it. But I do have to tell you no direct pressure on you, because at this point, if that happened, you would probably be screaming out in pain. You are not likely to re-injure your ribs with normal relations, but breathing deeply and muscle contractions might not feel too pleasant, keep that in mind.”

“Okay. How soon can I fly?”

“You just got back, where do you want to go now?”

“California, to Adam’s. He only has a week left before he has to be in Dallas to finish work on the film. His parents are there for a medical conference and his kids live there,” I told her, hoping she would understand.

“When did you want to go? Flying probably won’t hurt your head, but the longer you heal before the flight, the better.”

Adam cleared his throat and spoke up. “I was hoping to make it back this weekend, maybe take an early flight on Saturday.”

“Well, I would like it better if you could wait, but I do understand. Alright Sarah, I’ll clear you to fly. But I want to see you back here before you decide to go to Dallas, do you understand? Will you be in the Los Angeles area? If so I have a friend there that I will refer you to if you have any problems.”

“Yes, we’ll be in Laguna Beach. And the name of a local doctor would be wonderful. Thank you,” Adam told her.

“No problem. Sarah, just take it easy, okay?” she said as she wrote the name of the doctor on a piece of paper and handed it to me. She smiled at me as we all stood up to leave and impulsively I hugged her, something I had never done in all the years she has been my doctor. It seemed to surprise her, but she hugged me back and then waved as Adam and I left.

We were headed to the hospital so I could see Cassie. I felt rather disloyal leaving her there, but I knew she would understand, I hoped she would understand. When we got there, Adam told me he was going to sit in the waiting area and work some more on the script. I thought that was very sweet because I knew that he was trying to give me some private time with Cassie, and I appreciated it a great deal.

“Why don’t you give us a half hour or so, and then come down. She’ll want to see you too,” I suggested.

“Okay, I’ll see you then,” he told me, kissing me briefly before settling down into one of the distinctly uncomfortable looking lounge chairs in the waiting room.

I walked the short distance down the hall to Cassie’s room, and only felt slightly out of breath. The trip was getting a bit easier I thought as I pushed open the door. I heard laughter and as I walked farther into the room, I saw someone sitting with their back to the door talking with Cass.

At Cassie’s surprised look, that person turned around. It was Jason.

I smiled at them both and went over and kissed Cass on the cheek. She was looking pretty bedraggled, partly from the injury and partly just because as women, we need some TLC, and she wasn’t really getting it.

I took her hand and squeezed it and brushed a wayward strand of hair off of her cheek. “Hi. How are you?” I whispered to her, searching those grass green eyes for an answer her lips wouldn’t reveal.

I immediately saw tears spring into her eyes and I knew that my assumption was right, she needed some connection, some TLC. But her words denied that look.

“Hey, I’m just great. They say I can start the ballroom dancing classes soon. I always wanted to dance like Ginger Rogers, ya know?”

That much was true—I remembered watching endless Fred and Ginger movies with Cass, and she always wanted to be able to dance. In junior high school she wanted to take lessons, but they said she wasn’t tall enough, unless she was interested in ballet, but she was years too late for that. So our fledgling girl just made the best of it. She really could dance well, even if not for a career.

I pulled up another chair on the same side as Jase, since it would be easier for Cassie that way. He had been sitting there, watching Cassie’s and my exchange, used to our bantering and teasing. He used to be a part of that sometimes, when we let him in, but I’m sure he was feeling awkward about it today. I had thought he had probably gone home by now actually, so I was surprised to see him here.

We all sat there, tensely waiting for someone to speak, so I decided to just get started.

“Jason, I thought you had went home by now. Is your mom okay?”

“Yes, she is well. She is actually looking forward to the surgery in November, wants to just get it over actually. But I’m going home tonight, uh, taking a flight you know.”

“Yes. I’m sure your mom and dad will miss you.” I realized as soon as I said it that it probably wasn’t the smartest comment I could have made, but it was too late now.

“Yes, probably. But you won’t, will you Sarah?” he replied, his eyes cold and remote. “Did you get my e-mail yesterday?”

“Yes Jase, I got it,” I said quietly, trying to figure out what to say next. But he started in without giving me a thought to gather my thoughts.

“But, it didn’t make any difference, did it?”

“No, not really Jase. You are completely off-base about Adam. He isn’t hiding anything and for you to try to convince me that I’m not worthy of him was a really cheap shot, not really like you Jason. You always go for the direct approach, don’t you?” I replied, looking him squarely in the face. To his credit, he didn’t flinch away.

“Yeah, you’ve had such a long time to get to know him, so I’m sure you are right,” he spat out, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I do know him Jason,” I answered softly. “In fact, I know him better than I ever knew you apparently. Look, I don’t want to do this, okay. Not now, in fact never, but especially not here in Cassie’s room.”

“Oh yes, I suppose you do know him,” he started, completely ignoring my request to stop this conversation. “Yes, I bet you’re in love with him, aren’t I right? He makes you feel special, all warm and mushy, right?”

“Jason,” I began, my voice tight and full of warning. I was trying to control my temper, but he was pushing all the buttons, buttons that he admittedly knew well. I decided to just leave, that was better than standing here, arguing pointlessly with him, so I stood up and started to walk over to give Cassie a kiss goodbye.

As I walked by, he grabbed my arm, not hard enough to hurt me, just to stop me and get my attention. I looked at Cassie then and her eyes were full of sadness, for Jase and me both. I mouthed “I’m sorry” to her and turned to look at Jason.

“Jason, you do not have the right to talk to me about love. Was the word ‘love’ ever a part of our vocabulary when we were together? Ever? For either of us?” At his silence, I continued on. “No, it never was. I’m sorry Jason, but I didn’t love you, not ever. I feel more for you now as a friend than I ever did for you as a partner. I know that hurts but it is the truth. And whether or not you choose to believe this, I’m sorry for that. But I wasn’t capable of loving you, of being in love with you, I don’t deny that, but you were never in love with me either. I don’t believe you are now either, I think it’s just an idea to hang onto something familiar.”

His eyes were blazing then, but he managed to hold onto his temper. It wasn’t good control, but he didn’t yell. “Don’t you presume to tell me how I feel, not until you take up residence in my head and actually know what my thoughts are. Maybe I’m not in love with you, but we built a relationship between us, history if you please.”

“Yes, we did that. How could we not have? We spent two years together and we’ve talked a lot since you left. Yes, there has been a certain comfort and familiarity in that relationship, but it isn’t enough to try to make a life together and you know it. Whether Adam came along or not, I wouldn’t have gotten back together with you Jase. It didn’t work before and it wouldn’t work now.”

I think my words finally sunk in then, that no matter what, I wouldn’t get back together with him. They sank in like an anchor plummeting to the ocean floor, silently hitting the bottom of his belly, pulling him back to reality.

He nodded then, his anger spent and worn away. Cassie had tears running down her face and I suddenly realized I wasn’t crying. For the first time in days, I wasn’t crying about something. But I knew that I was right, that even though it had hurt him, it was the right thing to do. I could have wished the conversation had been private, but that choice had been taken out of my hands. A huge weight had been lifted off of me and while I didn’t feel great, there was release in it, freedom if you want to think of it that way.

“Cassie, I have to go now,” he said, bending down to kiss her goodbye. “Sarah, I’m sorry for everything, honestly. Be happy.” He left then, silently closing the door behind him.

I grabbed a couple of tissues and handed them to Cassie, who wiped her tears and then blew her nose.  I waited to speak, giving her time to get herself under control.

“Wow, kiddo,” she said to me. “I think he finally understands.”

“Yes, I’m just sorry we did that here Cass. It wasn’t my intention.”

We had been chatting about it all for a few minutes when Adam came into the room. His eyes told me he knew what had happened and I realized that Jason would have had to walk right past Adam on the way out. I can’t imagine what Jason could have said, or even if he said anything, but I think they must have spoken. Adam pulled his chair close to mine and held my hand after he had greeted Cassie.

“I’m going to the rehabilitation hospital on Monday,” Cassie told us and she was obviously thrilled about it. “Tomorrow, they are actually going to let me get up, or at least sit up. I think I’m kind of scared about it actually.”

“Oh Cass, that’s wonderful. But I know what you mean about being scared. Trust me though, after you actually do it, you’ll be so eager to do it some more that they’ll have to tie you down, I promise!”

“Sarah, suppose my back won’t work right? What if I never walk again?” she told me, the tears running freely then. This time I joined her and thought about what a shitty time this was for me to be leaving her.

“What does Dr. Gorman say Cassie?”

“He says that it will work fine, that it will take time and patience, but I’ll walk again,” she said, a sob catching in her voice.

“Then why the hell are you crying?” I asked, since this sounded like excellent news to me.

“Because, I won’t get to see him every day then. He’ll check in every couple of days, but it won’t be the same, you know?”

Ah, I began to see things a bit more clearly. She does have feelings for the good doctor.

“They told me the first few days in rehab will be tough, so I won’t get to see you, okay? I will have a regimen to follow and they seem to think visitors will disrupt that.”

I looked at Adam then, and I must admit that a small amount of relief flowed through me. “Well, I guess that’s okay because one of the reasons I came here today was to tell you that I’m going to California with Adam on Saturday, to meet his family. Oh Cass, I feel so guilty!”

She actually smiled at that, and I realized she felt some relief as well. “That’s good, I mean, yeah, its okay. I have to concentrate on the therapy for a while, so this will give me time before I have visitors.”

“Except for Dr. Gorman of course?”

“Of course,” she told us, smiling again.

“Well then, we have a plan. We’ll be back late in the week because Adam has to be in Dallas on the following Monday. Do you think you will be able to have visitors by then?”

“I don’t know for sure. They said a few days to get me used to the routine and stuff, so I guess we’ll have to see.”

We chatted for awhile longer before Adam and I left. We promised her we would come to see her tomorrow and after a quick kiss on the cheek, we left.

As we walked down the hall, Adam wrapped his arm around my waist, which sent delicious tingles up my spine and I thought about our evening and how we would spend it.


Hope said...

Good Morning!

It's hump day and all I can think of is that my holiday shopping isn't done yet!

I will be spending Friday doing that and I don't know for sure what time I will be posting that day. I will post, but it will undoubtedly be later than normal.

Just wanted everyone to know! As always, I hope you enjoy today's entry. You all always make my day with all your thoughtful comments!

Val said...

Well, Hope, you could always post Thursday night, dahling!

I'm loving this, but this post seems like the calm before the storm, eh?

So could you just keep them in one piece long enough to get it on?

Hope said...


I love calms before storms! Don't you, all that delicious tension? LOL

reeneez said...

Oh VAL, i agree with you!!
Great entry Hope - the interaction with Jason was really good but kind of not what i expected. I'm curious to see if he returns in some way.
REALLY looking forward to the next entry and what the evening has in store for Sarah and Adam!
Good luck shopping Friday - i can so relate to needing to get that done! Rene

Hope said...

It's my own darn fault, not getting busier sooner. Some things are done, but not nearly enough. Of course, a day off of work is always a lovely thing... : )

Becky said...

Good moring, Hope and all. I thought for a moment that Sarah would figure out something was wrong with the tea. Hmmm, Hope - "the calm before the storm..." That certainly opens up all kinds of speculation!!! And we have to wait until Friday!

Only 12 shopping days! Have fun.

tiki said...

I hope you have a great time on Friday Hope!

I thought the conversation with Jason was pretty interesting. It seems that things are done between them, but I wonder if it is that simple? Will he try to cause more trouble?

Wonderful as usual Hope, thanks for keeping it interesting.

megs said...

Great Hope, just great. I also feel like something is just waiting to happen. I wonder what? Don't suppose you'll give us a clue will you Hope? You are so devious!

Anonymous said...

Hi Hope!
Once again, a good one! I read several different blogs, and I always save yours for last. I think there is definitely something "brewing" with the tea. But what I'm looking forward to is what will be happening when Sarah and Adam get home!
Poor Cassie, I do hope that she and the doctor get together. She needs an "Adam" in her life too!
Happy shopping on Friday!

hayley said...

Excellent lunch time read as ususal Hope! I love Adam's 'bangers'!

Excellent insight into Sarah. I feel as if we are coming to know her even better and today's entry helped explain so much about her. Thank you for that look at her Hope!

As they would say in England, "Well Done!"

gina said...

Wonderful, as usual. Hayley, I agree with you totally about Sarah. There is still alot about her I bet we don't know. She has a different perspective for a woman, being the hesitant one and Adam being so openly caring. That just points to how awesome Adam is, to be able to give her time.

But Hope, is she ever going to say I love you to him??

Anonymous said...

I hope you have fun Friday Hope, and like Val, I hope you post thursday instead of friday.

Great story today, I liked so much about it! Thank you!!!

amy d

Jo said...

My God, is that Jason a loser or what!? What a time and place to do that to Sarah and to Cassie as well! *grumble* I'm just wondering what he might have said to Adam. But I'll bet Adam would have won that exchange.

I just love how comfortable Sarah is around Adam that she can ask the doctor about bras and sex in front of him. But it sounds like the doctor's given them a green light ... well, a yellow one anyway. Can't wait to see how they use that information. ;-)

macy said...

I think that Sarah has made so much progress. Her thought about "Love is no longer just a destination for me; love is the journey itself." made me cry because that is really what it is all about. Anyone can feel love, but understanding it and why you have to continually work towards it is huge!

Hooray for our girl Sarah!

Excellent Hope!

tiki said...

I so agree macy! I have to admit that I had doubts about Sarah for awhile, if she would be able to stand firm and not run away from Adam, but the girl just might find some cajones after all!

And Jo, great comment about Jason. He is a prick!

Gator chick said...

It seems that Jase is out of the picture...maybe? At least they have cleared the air.
I do hope the best for Cass...she deserves it! Especially after what her ex put her through...what a complete jerk!
Also, I'm thinking that the fact that Sarah didn't wash the tea pitcher right away might mean that something was indeed in the tea. Hmmm....
Great again Hope! Still waiting for news on your book............

Holly said...

I'm loving the Adam story line!
I hate to say this and others might harp on me for saying it....

I do hope you post later on Friday, I'm being selfish. I have a final mid-afternoon, and consider it a reward. If it's posted early, it will stray me from my studying.

On to the story, I figured that Sarah would have realized it was the tea that was making her so sick...maybe she's really preganant. That would be a great twist!

So...when's the book due?