Monday, October 16, 2006
Oh What A Night!
It was 11:30 when I went into my room. I sat down on the bed and tried to organize my thoughts. Several shaky breaths later, I realized that was futile, my brain was racing in a dozen different directions at once.
I wanted to tell someone about this. I hadn’t brought my cell with me because I hadn’t wanted to buy an international card for it and calling home was expensive. Money wasn’t that tight, but still I didn’t want to just waste it.
But was it a waste? I’m dying here I thought! Its 5:30 in the evening at home. My best friend Cassie would just be getting home from work. I pictured her there, already clad in a comfortable pair of sweats and leaning against an open refrigerator door, trying to decide whether to eat some yogurt or cereal for dinner. I’d played out that same scenario hundreds of time myself.
After the kids were out of the house, cooking for one is a lonely prospect. Yogurt, cereal, popcorn were all typical dinners for me. Maybe if I were feeling cold or really hungry I might heat a can of soup up in the microwave.
That’s so sad Sarah!
Need and temptation won out over money issues so I called the desk and told them I wanted to place a call to Wichita, KS. Yes, I told them, put it on my credit card! I gave them the number and waited impatiently for the different connections to be made, listening to the operators communicating. By the time we got the international line and the phone was ringing, I was tapping my foot up and down impatiently, waiting for Cassie to pick up!
The line clicked and I heard Cassie’s voice sing out “Hello! Sarah, what are you doing calling me from Italy? Is something wrong?”
I looked at the phone, puzzled by what she had said. “Everything is fine, better than fine and how the hell did you know it was me?”
“Have you ever heard of a little thing called ‘caller id’ Sarah?” she asked me with that teasing tone in her voice I love so much.
Cass and I had been best friends since 3rd grade, and I won’t tell you how many years that is! We’ve told each other about every big ‘1st’ we’ve had in our lives and even the sorry seconds too. We’ve laughed about them, cried about them, opposite sides of the same coin, that’s Cass and I!
“C’mon Cass,” I chided her. “Your caller id doesn’t say Italy!”
“No, it says 011+39. Now, I don’t know what the 39 means but I know that 011 is from another country! Geez Sarah,” she laughed. “SO, what’s up? Are you in an Italian jail or being held captive or...”
I interrupted her question “Hey, nothing so drastic. But, I did want to talk to you,” I wondered if she’d think I was crazy. Okay, she already knew I was crazy, but we were crazy together, and that made it okay! I paused for a minute to try to figure out exactly what I wanted to say.
“Tick tock, or maybe I should say cha-ching, cha-ching Sarah. Enough already, spill the beans. You’ve met someone, haven’t you?”
I held the phone away from my ear for a moment to stare at it in puzzlement. How did she know that I wondered?
“C’mon Sarah, do I have to do all the talking here? Who is he?”
And suddenly I felt the comfort of our friendship wrap itself around me and I couldn’t wait to tell her.
“It’s Adam Richland. I’ve met Adam Richland!” Cass was quiet for a minute and I said “You know, Adam Richland, the guy we have drooled over on Friday night movie marathons...” I trailed off.
I listened to her laughing hysterically on the other end of the phone, followed by that cute little snort she does when she’s trying to get herself under control.
“Wow, that’s awesome! Can you find Bobby Martin for me?” she asked, obviously thinking I was joking with her. That stung a bit, but I guess I’d probably react the same way. “I loved Adam and Bobby in River of Doubt, and like, maybe we could double date or something.” She continued to laugh on the phone and then suddenly she was very quiet. There was a pause on the line and she finally said “You aren’t joking are you? You wouldn’t have called me from Italy if this wasn’t true, I know you Sarah. I’m sorry I laughed.”
Three hundred and sixty degrees in 60 seconds, that’s my Cassie!
“No,” I informed her. “It is true.” For some reason I suddenly felt very emotional about it all. My breath caught in my throat and a tiny little tear ran down my cheek. Maybe it was because I was talking to Cassie, my very best friend or maybe because it was just such an impossible situation and my heart was already getting involved, I didn’t really know.
“Start talking girl,” she commanded. “I want details now!”
So I told her everything that had happened since yesterday. She listened quietly mostly, but laughed a few times at some of the stuff. Cassie is the one person in this world I can totally be myself with, bare my soul to. She has seen me at my best and worst, and she still loves me. But she can tease me mercilessly!
“So, why haven’t you two tangoed in the sheets yet? It sounds like you’re both willing.”
“Cass, have you ever known me to do that so quickly?” Her irreverent attitude shouldn’t surprise me, but I was feeling very vulnerable about all of this. “I want to, I do, but I don’t think I can.”
“Well, Miss Scarlet,” she drawled, “tomorrow is anotha day!” She was quiet for a moment and then said, “Look Sarah, just trust yourself, your instincts. You have great instincts, you always have. But just in case, you got some condoms with you?” she added cheekily. I could feel her smile all the way here in Italy and for some reason it made everything okay.
I laughed out loud then and so did she. It was going to be okay.
“Alright little buckaroo, hang in there. Get into a little deep water; it will do you some good. Just make sure Mr. Hunky Movie Star is your lifeguard! I’ll see you when you get home. Bye!”
The line hummed telling me she was gone. I hadn’t even told her goodbye, but she probably hung up because she was afraid I’d go teary on her again, and the truth is, she’s a bigger softie than I am. I sat there for a moment then reached over and replaced the phone in the cradle. I felt so much better after talking to Cass. I didn’t really have any answers still, but that was okay, I was content.
I took a quick shower and then decided to figure out what to wear tomorrow so it would be one thing less to do in the morning. Same old dilemma. What does one wear to a movie set? I didn’t know if it was inside or outside because we had never really talked about it. He said they would be doing studio work in Dallas, and that could mean that he was shooting outside shots here, but I didn’t really know that.
I somehow thought it would be casual, I couldn’t see the shoot being too dressy. I decided on a pair of killer jeans I have. They fit wonderfully, hugging all the right places. They were a little long which meant that I had to wear them with a pair of shoes with a higher heel, which was cool. Any thing to look a bit taller! I have a gorgeous coral colored sweater that goes perfectly with it and looks great with my coloring. And of course my satin and lace coral colored undies. The bra was a demi cut deep plunge with a front fastener and lace cups. It was delicious if I say so myself and it makes my boobs look great, high and round. I crawled into my bed, wondering what tomorrow would be like, and even more than that, what would the coming days spent with him be like?
I was laying there thinking about how much I wish Adam was here when the phone rang. I looked at it with a start and I couldn’t imagine who was calling me. Surely it is a mistake, but I picked up the receiver and said hello.
“Were you asleep?” Adam asked my softly.
I think I sort of giggled a bit nervously then. It felt weird, thinking about Adam and then having him call. “No, not yet. I actually just got into bed.”
My voice was a little shaky and I was kind of feeling as if I’d been caught. I wondered if he was in bed too. This felt unbelievably intimate, imagining him laying in bed, lights out and talking to me. I wondered if he had any clothes on.
“I can’t get you out of my mind.” With a quick chuckle he added “I’m going to look like hell for the cameras tomorrow!”
“Should I feel guilty,” I asked in a voice that was soft and silky. I couldn’t help it; my hand had strayed to my nipple, almost unconsciously stroking and swirling my fingertip around the areola. I decided my other nipple needed attention and shifted to that one which responded quickly.
I swear I could hear each of our heartbeats in the brief silence that followed.
“No,” he told me in a low voice. “I do not want you to feel...guilty.” The last word was almost a sigh.
“What do you want me to feel Adam?”
I heard a sharp intake of his breath. “I don’t know Sarah. Are you thinking about me?”
“Yes. I was thinking about you before you called. I’m happy you called Adam.”
“What were you thinking? About me, I mean.”
I didn’t know what to tell him. Should I be honest and tell him how badly I wished he was here? That I wanted to feel his body on mine, kissing and touching me; that I wanted to know the joy of having him inside of me? Is that too much too soon?
I decided to be truthful, up to a certain point anyway. “I was thinking about tomorrow and the trip and everything. I’m excited about it all,” I told him, knowing it was only part of the story, but deciding it was best to stay out of dangerous sexual territory.
“Yes, I’ve been thinking about it too. And I have an idea, about tomorrow, uh night.” His voice sounded a little uncertain and I couldn’t help but be curious why? I heard him take a deep breath before he continued on. “I don’t know how late the shoot will go tomorrow and then we’ll need to get some dinner and with all the rushing around and such, I was wondering if you would like to stay here at my hotel tomorrow night. It might make things easier.”
I was so thrown off by this unexpected suggestion I couldn’t say anything. I don’t have to tell you what went through my mind, I’m sure. But I felt panicked too. I mean, I know that we were going to get to the point of having to discuss this if we were going to be together, but I was expecting to maybe discuss it on the trip.
He sort of rushed on when I didn’t immediately respond, “My room here is actually a suite,” he informed me. “You would have your own room and bath, private, so you wouldn’t have to worry about uh, anything.”
After another pause, during which time I was trying to figure out exactly what to say, he said “We don’t have to do that, I just... I didn’t intend to, I had no intention to make you uncomfortable.”
“WAIT, Adam. Just wait a moment here.” I had sat up in bed, as if being upright was going to make my brain think any clearer. “Adam, it didn’t make me uncomfortable, and I don’t have a problem staying there really. I mean, we were going to have to talk about this soon anyway. It was bound to be a bit awkward to talk about.” My head was still full of a million thoughts, all trying to be heard over the other.
“Yes, I understand that,” he explained softly. “I just thought that it would save some time and we could get started earlier on Thursday actually.”
“And it will, it’s a great idea, it really is. It’s just I sort of have this thing lurking in the back of my brain, and I don’t know what to do about it yet,” I finished with a sigh.
“What thing Sarah? What thing?”
This was my moment of truth. I had to go ahead and say it. I knew he had been thinking the same types of things and if we just got it over with, we wouldn’t worry about it so much and we could just enjoy our time together.
“Us, being together. Making love Adam.” I took a deep breath and held it in unconsciously, waiting for his reply.
“I think about it too, a lot,” he confided. “But Sarah, we can take our time with that part; we’ll know when we are ready. I don’t want to ruin things by rushing before its right, you know?”
“I agree with that. I don’t want to go too fast either. But I’m sort of afraid of something Adam.”
I’m sure he was worried at this point that he had somehow said something wrong, and I didn’t want him to feel like that. I also decided we needed to stop being so damn serious.
I giggled, and it felt good. “I’m afraid of my hormones, because I have to tell you mister, you’ve really got them working overtime!”
I could feel him relax, really I could. He sort of giggled too and said, “You haven’t done a bad job of that yourself, you know!”
“Really?” I asked, trying to sound innocent. I’m not sure he bought it. Okay, make that I’m sure he didn’t buy it.
“One day soon, I’m going to tell you all about it—then I’m going to show you,” his voice was low, almost a growl.
“Promise? You know, I have a few of those things to share as well,” I said to him in my most sexy, teasing tone.
“I certainly hope so! I want to hear all of them.”
“I could start with what I was thinking about before you called.”
He groaned. “I don’t know that I could handle it, at least right now.”
“I think it’s time we said goodnight. I mean, you were worried about your beauty sleep and I don’t want to be the cause of people watching this movie and asking what on earth was wrong with Adam Richland in it!”
“No. That would be awful, tragic really. I’ll see you in the morning, then?”
“Yes, I’ll be ready,” I promised. “And I’ll be thinking about you for awhile longer tonight.”
“Goodnight Sarah. You really make it hard on a guy, you know?”
I couldn’t resist, “Hard on a guy or just hard?” At his sharp intake of breath I giggled and said “Goodbye Adam!” Then I hung up the phone and knew that the next week or so was going to be spectacular!