The Naked Truth
The second pregnancy test showed the same results as the first. The knowledge slowly penetrated my befuddled brain. I, Sarah Richland (I love saying that!) am a 46 year old pregnant woman. Life, as I know it was going to drastically change.
After we got the second set of results Cassie and Lissa both hugged me and departed, both whispering words of love and support. Lissa told me to call her and let her know when I was ready to talk about specifics.
I felt stunned, literally blown-away. I knew I would have this baby, but suddenly all the fear that comes with such a late-in-life pregnancy washed over me.
Adam watched me closely, trying to figure out what my mood was; was I happy or sad? Did I want to talk or just digest? His guess was as good as my own. Finally he took me by the hand and led me upstairs to our bedroom where we both lay on the bed. I cuddled next to him and listened to his steady heartbeat, pattering against his chest.
He gently stroked my hair, running his fingers through it in a soothing manner. I was trying to formulate words, something to say to him, but I felt bereft of them right now. I knew he was happy about this; I was too sort of, but there was so much that could go wrong and with every breath I took I thought of some new horror.
And then suddenly, calm descended upon me and all I could think of was the joys. Adam and I, this amazing, incredible man and I had created a life together and it was nestled inside my body; tiny little body growing, a boy or a girl. Life is a miracle and we were going to share it.
I leaned up and smiled at Adam, still watchful of my every move. I kissed his warm lips once, then again and rested my cheek against his. I sighed with contentment.
“Adam, we’re going to have a baby,” I whispered, looking into his eyes. There were tears in my eyes and I saw that his eyes were teary as well.
“Yes, bella, we are.” He smiled at me and kissed my forehead softly. “Are you okay with that?”
It occurred to me that he might have thought that I would want to terminate the pregnancy. I was tracing little hearts across his chest with my fingertip and tried to decide how to answer that question. Yes, I was okay, but I was so scared too.
“I’m happy about it Adam, but I’m also so aware of everything that can go wrong in a pregnancy at my age. Those eggs are getting old, sweetheart!”
“We’ll have the best care for you, love, and whatever testing we need, okay?”
I nodded and sniffed as the tears started again. I reached over and grabbed a tissue and sat up to blow my nose.
“Where are you going?” he asked, confused.
“I’m sitting up to blow my nose. I’m not going to do it against your chest,” I laughed.
“For heaven’s sake, come back here!” He gently tugged on my arm and I lay back down, still dabbing at my nose.
We were both quiet for a few moments, each of us lost in our own thoughts. Finally Adam asked what I wanted to do about the honeymoon. I had all but forgotten about that in the midst of all this.
“Do you mind if we just sort of postpone it? I want to get to a doctor as soon as possible and then there is everyone to tell and…” My mind was flooded with so many details.
“Family dinner, tomorrow night while most of the family is still here?” he asked.
“Okay, let’s do it.” I laughed as I thought about telling our parents. This was going to be priceless!