Friday, March 09, 2007

You Be the Author!

Ahoy! Ahoy!

This is the Delicious Pirate Richland here calling all of you to write stories about me today! I will be very excited to read about my dashing tales and adventures!


Hope said...

Good Morning All!

As you can see, the Delicious Pirate Richland stopped in for a minute. He's actually way too full of himself because he cannot wait to read about himself, but I figure he is kind of cute, so what the heck?

I am posting this first little vignette and you can add to it if you like, feel free to take it in any direction. Or post your own delightful stories.

Remember to have fun and be kind!

The delicious pirate Richland looked out over the stormy sea with a worried frown on his handsome face. That French brigantine was hot on their tails and had been for 2 days. So far they had managed to stay just out of harms way, but he didn’t know how much longer his valiant crew could hold on.

They had been working furiously to keep the sails full and aloft, which was no mean undertaking in this unpredictable weather. One minute the sails were full and the schooner was skimming along on the waves and the next the sails were luffing and the ship only seemed to crawl along. It was frustrating for an honest and hard-working pirate!

But below decks he had a treasure, indeed he did and he need only make port in Tortuga to reach safety. Tortuga was still under Spanish possession, but the French were determined to wrest the island paradise away from them. 1658 was a rough time for pirates, you had to have a few friends in every port to stay alive.

He thought more about his ‘passenger’. The lovely mademoiselle Sarah de Marchione, lately the fiancĂ© of the governor of the isle of St. Dominique. He wasn’t taking her abduction very well, Richland thought. Not very well at all as another fruitless effort to fire their cannon by the crew of the brigantine fell miserably short.

But luck was with our fearless raider, for just ahead the safety of the shores of Tortuga lie and Richland knew they would reach safety soon. The thought was an appealing one, because when safety was reached, the lovely Sarah would finally be his!

Anyone want to continue this story?

Val said...

OMG Hope, I just sat here for a while just staring a the gorgeous pirate. He is sooooo yummy!

But alas, I don't know nuthin' bout no pirates! It's just never been a story line I could flow with, although I look muchly forward to reading all the stories. For now, I'm gonna go stare at the lovely pirate. *sigh*

Becky said...

The sails of the Sarah Bella flapped loudly in the breeze as she sailed into the harbor of Tortuga. The Deliciously Wicked Pirate Richland, the devilishly handsome captain of this sleek sailing vessel, was standing on the foredeck looking at the masthead with the carving of the beautiful woman. She had come to him in a dream; even her name, Sarah Bella, had come to him in the dream. Night after night she filled his dreams. Finally he decided it must be a sign and named his new ship the Sarah Bella and had her face and figure carved on the masthead. Now, if only he could find his dream woman…

The Wickedly Delicious Pirate Richland had practiced the sweet trade for many a year and was known wide and far for his swashbuckling adventures. He was also was known wide and far but the ladies as having magical fingers, and the things he could do with his tongue…oh my…these were only a few body parts that gave him the Wickedly Delicious portion of his name. He was renown for taking what he wanted, whenever he wanted, and how he wanted. And what he wanted now was food, rum, and a lovely wench to slake his passions on – as always she would be willing. Lasses fell for his handsome face even with the scar slashing across his left cheek. He left them pleasured and mourning his leaving them behind. Only the parade of wenches for the Wickedly Delicious Pirate Richland was becoming strangely unfulfilling – he was becoming obsessed with finding a woman who enflamed his passion like his dream woman, Sarah Bella. No real life had ever women measured up.

Tortuga was a bastion for the gentlemen o’ fortune. The streets were filled with taverns, gambling dens, and brothels where a pirate’s booty quickly changed hands. Richland and his crew were readily welcomed everywhere as some of the wealthiest, most generous, and most adventurous carousers.

The new proprietress of the Pieces of Eight Tavern and Inn, Sarah Marcus, sighed as she noticed the activity in the harbor. She couldn’t help but wonder if this new pirate crew would be the one. She felt a stream of excitement throughout her body, wanting the crew to hurry and hit the boards of her establishment. Suddenly she felt exquisitely sensitive tingles dance down her spine as he filled with anticipation. Sarah felt as if something monumental, life-changing was about to happen. She stepped out the door and suddenly there he was. The pirate captain, tall, roguishly handsome, lean but well-muscled, approached her. Their eyes met and instantly a liquid stream of desire flowed though Sarah directly to her core. She couldn’t speak or move.

The Deliciously Wicked Pirate Richland walked directly to the woman of his dreams and took her in his arms. He pulled her tight against his body and took her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss. “My Sarah Bella, I have at last found you. I knew someday I would,” he said to her in a low, rumbling voice. “I have dreamed of you for so long.” Sarah responded in a breathy whisper, “How do you know my name? I’ve also dreamed of you. In my dreams your name is Adam, and I have searched for you amongst every crew that set boot and booty on this isle. I am here because I also knew I would find you here.”

This bit of “purple prose” (flowery, overwrought language) is just the beginning of tale of The Deliciously Wicked Pirate Richland and his Bonny Wench Sarah Bella!


Hope said...

Becky, that is wonderful! Live the flowery language...

Tigger said...

Okay Hope, here goes!

The seas were tossing us around like a bobbing cork and I struggled to keep my feet beneath me in all the blood. It was flowing like stale ale along that deck that was littered with dangling rope and sails and the odd body part.

My mighty saber ripped and slashed through the air, occasionally hitting something a little more substantial I thought with satisfaction as I took part of Bushy Blackies left ear off. I didn’t have time to watch it fall to the deck because it really made him mad and he started swinging at me like a demon from the dark beyond! I was bouncing around the deck like crazy trying to keep away from his wildly swinging blade!

“Ho there Delicious Pirate Richland! You certainly making free with my body parts!” Bushy Blackie informed me with a growl. “I will have to swab the deck with you man!”

I looked with disgust at the deck for but a moment and I shuddered with disgust. I had no intention of meeting my fate on this bloody deck and certainly no plans to visit it up close and personally!

“I think not Bushy Blackie! It will be you laying up on this bloody deck!” I declared, swinging with renewed efforts!

All around me I heard the furious clashing of the swords and the blood-curdling screams of fallen pirate mates and soon all that were left standing we my mates; hardy lads all!

We were victorious and I had a new pirate ship to claim for my fleet! Now if I could only find a woman!

DayDreamer said...

As much as I love pirate Richland....I love pirate Johnny Depp even more.

But I really miss our regular post.

These pirate stories are certainly fun to read. Thanks so much!!

Hope said...

Way to go Tigger! You did good!

Anonymous said...

Dang, he's HOT! Not much of a writer so I can't contribute to the story, but like Val, I will just enjoy the picture. Nette

Macy said...

OMG these are really good. Becky, you should really write something and Tigger, you had me laughing so hard. I could just imagine Richland bouncing around the deck.

Hope, while I miss a regular posting, this is so much fun and you are certainly admirable for feeling free enough to turn your blog over to the readers. It makes me and I hope others feel as if you do care about us and respect us as well. Thank you so much for that!

Kristin said...

What do you get when you cross a pirate with a stripper? Look below, and join me for a pirate's jig gone naughty.....

Sarah couldn't believe she had gotten into this predicament. A few of her good friends from the office had sworn they just wanted to meet after work and celebrate her birthday with a few drinks. Her best friend Hope, had offered to drive her to what she had thought would be a quiet night of dinner and drinks.

Sarah's jaw dropped as Hope's car pulled up in front of Club Joy and parked underneath a marquee that advertised, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH! FROM THE MEN OF CLUB JOY!". Her now ex-best friend gave her a wicked giggle and said, "Now Sarah, we couldn't figure out what to get you for your birthday, so we decided to let you choose. Now close your mouth, your letting in flies. And don't worry about Adam, he knows you are out with us, and said to treat you right".

After being ushered into the lush darkness of the club, Sarah's eyes widened as she saw that the Club had been converted into a tropical oasis. The stage had been made to resemble the deck of a pirate ship, complete with a helm, a Jolly Rancher flag and a bow declaring the ship's name to be Sarah's Revenge. Pirate themed music filled the air. "We're not in Kansas anymore", Sarah thought to herself, as she was quickly led to the apparent chair of honor placed center stage, in front of the ship's wheel. A tropical concoction in a coconut shaped glass was placed into her hands and Sarah sucked on its straw for dear life!

The club quickly filled to near capacity, and Sarah noted that Hope and her friends had taken up the front row as the lights dimmed everywhere except the stage. Slouching as far down in her chair as possible, Sarah was pondering all the ways one could disappear, when the emcee's voice boomed over the microphone. "LADIES, are you ready for a good time?", he shouted. Rowdy and certainly unladylike cat calls and wolf whistles ensued. "Well we certainly have a treat for you tonight! Inviting you aboard for a one time performance, especially requested for our birthday girl Sarah, please welcome.... THE DELICIOUS PIRATE RICHLAND!!!!!!

An erotic jungle rhythm begain, as Sarah tightly squeezed her eyes shut. "What would Adam think?", she thought to herself, as suddenly the deck in front of her shook and a tantalizing yet purely male sent assailed her nostrils. An oh so masculine voice reached her ears, and spoke "Ye'll find the show a while lot more enjoyable if you open ye're eyes me dear!'.

Sarah's eyes flew open, and were quickly met by a pair of thigh length leather boots. A quick visual journey upward confirmed rock hard thighs encased in tan breeches. Purposely skipping his midsection Sarah continued her inspection and noted a firmly muscled chest lightly dusted with hair and framed to perfection by a fine billowing white sheer linen and laced shirt. Unable to wait any longer to see the face of this pirate rogue whom had her feeling naughty things, Sarah gulped a last sip of her drink before daring to meet his eyes. Upon locking her gaze on Richland and his riot of golden chestnut curls, Sarah gasped in recognition... ADAM!!!!

The Delicious Pirate Richland, was none other than her husband, Adam! Sarah blushed furiously as she realized that her beloved had decided to fulfill her swashbuckler's fantasy in a most decidedly public manner! He was Adam, but not Adam she thought, as she peered deeply into the face of her pirate love. The long flowing locks were as real as his own, but the eye patch, the long jagged scar that had been very realisticly applied to his his right cheek, and the dark shadow of hair on his face combined with his outfit to make him a darkly sensual and dangerous looking man. "Lass", Richland quipped, "are ye ready to be plundered?".

Longing shot to her center, as filled now with confidence, Sarah's eyes were drawn once again to her privateer's thighs. A quick glance at their apex confirmed to her blushing perusal a very impressive bulge that even in this embarassing situation caused her to become wet with desire. Unable to break the hypnotic trance caused by the undulating hips moving in time to the music before her, Sarah reached out to rake a long fingernail across the growing mound before her. A firm hand grasped hers, as she felt a finger tip her chin upward. "Ye are mighty forward with your touch, madam", Richland whispered into her ear. "I'm obliged to remind you my lady, we are not alone, though I surely wish that it were so", he continued.

The world around Sarah and her delicious pirate had ceased to exist. Raising an eyebrow as if to ask her permission, Richland slowly unlaced his shirt, allowing teasing glimpses of his hardened nipples before letting it fall off of his broad shoulders. "He's perfect", Sarah thought. As if flollosing the direction of her thoughts, her rogue lover continued to dance just out of the reach of her seeking fingers.

Noting Sarah's shortness of breath, and knowing she was feeling as aroused as he, her lusty knight o' the seas turned away, so that his firmly chisled butt was swaying just inches from her face. Using one hand to unbuckle his saber and the other to loosen his breeches, Richland then dropped them both to the deck in one smooth move, having already lost his boots at some point during the dance. While her dashing seaman continued to sway to the music covered only by a tiny g-string emblazoned with a skull and crossbones, Sarah fought and lost the battle to keep her hands to herself. With a will of their own, they snaked out to caress her dancing marauder's bum. A sharp intake of breath, let her know that her wenchly actions had effected her pirate as much as she.

With the intrusion of the roar of applause from the audience our pirate and his lady Sarah were jolted back into the seedy world around them Richland, realizing belatedly that his "other saber" was in grave danger of escaping its meager confines in frontof a throng of hungry ladies, quickly removed his tricorn hat and place it accordingly with true pirate flourish.

The music having long ended, he turned to this beauty before him and bent lowly to her ear, his words like the sea wind itself caressing her. The Delicious Pirate Richland, aka Adam Richland then said the words that Sarah had been longing to hear since beginning this erotic fantasy of the high seas; "Me lady, I assure ye, that while I cannot promise that there will always be fair winds, and calm seas, if you continue this voyage with me, I pledge to spend the rest o' me days proving worthy your love".

To the continued applause of the crowd, including her sister of the soul, Hope, Sarah ran her fingers through her conquered pirate's curling tendrils and nodded her approval. "Aye, my love, let us continue this adventure ashore, as what I have planned for us may just run this vessel aground", she said as her lusty, delectable and yes delicious Richland the pirate threw her over his shoulder. "And Adam," she giggled, "can we keep the eye patch?", to which a resounding slap to his wenche's bottom gave affirmation!

The End!

Hope said...

My my Kristin, you have ME blushing!


Val said...

BRAVO BRAVO!!! Methinks the ladies have been reading the marauding pirate novels a bit on the muchly side... ROFL!

These stories are all so awesome! You all are doing awesome!

(LOVED the strip tease, all I could think was surely Adam won't turn his saber loose in public will he?)

Tara said...


Great job with the story.

Very nice picture of delicious Pirate Richland. I'm busy all day, so I will miss lunch but i will stop in later tonight to read more of everyone's stories and maybe even to post a story of my own.

Hope said...

Tara! I very much hope you do post a story! Sorry you'll miss lunch though.

And where is lunch today ladies? I'm feeling the need for some grog!

Kristin said...

Thanks for the complements, Ladies!
I had a blast! And yes Val, Richland did turn the err Saber loose later that night, but was required by law to keep the crossbones hidden until he and Sarah returned home!!!! LOL

Great job everyone! Our Hope is fostering the budding romantic smut writer in all of us!!!!

Val said...


Kristin, it was great, it was just GREAT...

Jen said...

I'm with Val, I have never been much for pirates but I am enjoying the stories.

We have a lot of talent here among us. Keep up the great work, girls (and Hope, too!)

Kristin said...

It has been a hoot, hasn't it ladies? Thanks definitely go to Hope for the op!

So, at what Tavern are we meeting at for our grog and leg o' turkey?


Lisa Lynn said...

Excellent job everyone! I'm loving these entries!

Hope -- you're so sweet to share your spotlight. However, we'll all be craving YOUR next installment badly by Monday!!

It's cloudy and overcast here in Southern Cali, so I'm thinking it's a good day for chowder or stew...and I think a yummy stew and brew would suit our pirate theme. What do you ladies think??


Hope said...

I heard of a neat little place called the Pirate and the Princess. Supposedly they have excellent grog and stew.

I'm ready to go!

Kristin said...

Stew and brew, hmmm? Aye, that be fine indeeed!!! (swinging my mug o' ale )

Lori said...

Once the schooner safely reached Tortuga, Richland shouted orders to his valiant crew, then strolled below decks to see about the welfare of his fair passenger.
He chuckled when he heard a thump against the wall, followed by the sound of shattering pottery. His eyebrows raised in amusement at the string of French curses spewing from Mademoiselle Sarah de Marchione. Having enjoyed many a night in the arms of French paramours, Richland knew he was being damned to the very depths of his soul.

Opening the cabin door, he ducked to narrowly avoid the vase she lobbed in his direction. Grinning like the very devil himself, Pirate Richland spoke to her softly in French.
"Are the accomodations not to your liking, Mademoiselle"?
Sarah stopped in mid-throw, narrowed her eyes at him, then continued cursing, growing louder as his shoulders shook with laughter.

"How dare you laugh at me!", she spat. "As the future governess of St. Dominique, I demand to be set free at once!"

"Do you now?"

Richland closed the door behind him and watched her intently. Her eyes widened when she saw him snick the lock into place. Sarah's heart beat madly in her chest. From the first moment she saw him she'd been wildly attracted to him, but she simply refused to let him know how he affected her.
He strode across the room to stand before her. Richland raised a hand and Sarah flinched slightly, expecting him to strike her for her impertenance. A touch of sadness reflected in his eyes as he stroked her cheek and whispered softly in her native tongue.

"Mademoiselle, you cannot take leave of this ship before dining with the captain."

Sarah stepped back from his touch. Her breathing was becoming more labored as her desire for the delicious pirate flared. The bodice of her dress rose and fell more rapidly and she saw the instant he realized her predicament. Tipping his head at her, Richland pulled her more closely to him and growled in her ear "Perhaps you'd rather skip straight to dessert, then? Because, my sweet Sarah de Marchione, I NEVER skip dessert..."

Lisa Lynn said...

Very nice, Lori!!

Kristin said...

Lori, that was awesome! I do not think my own heaving bosom can bear it! I'm suddenly hungry for chocolate dipped strawberries and eye patches! LOL

kmorales4 said...

I'm not going to write a story about Pirate Richland. I'm just not a good writer but I will however fantasize about the lovely Karen pushing the lovely Sarah offboard so that she could have her way with this yummy hunk of a man that our divine Pirate Richland turned out to be. I'm going to skip lunch. I wanna look thin for when I devour this man. In my dreams that is.

Lori said...

sorry k...I'd have to heave you overboard myself for a chance at those chocolate strawberries and eye patches and yummy delicious pirates. LOL

Lori said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lori said...

P.S. Thanks everyone for the kind words about my contribution :)

Kristin said...

Lori - BLUB! BLUB! Richland, save me! The evil wench Lori has thrown me overboard, and even my heaving bosom won't keep me afloat!!!! LOL

kmorales4 said...

It's amazing how much OUR dear Pirate looks like Colin Firth (Bridget Jones Diary).

Hope said...

Yes, isn't it amazing how much he resembles Colin? (snickering here)

Lori, very awesome! I love her fiery french temper! That will ensure high passion...

Okay, it's time for someone else to take up the tale!

I'm surprised I can type correctly, I've had several grogs and they were delightful!

matt said...

You ladies are doing a fine job with these stories today. Thank you so much for the enjoyable reading! Each and every story has been enjoyed.

Engbunny said...

Becjy, Tigger, Kristin & Lori - You guys are great!!!! I loved each one!

Becky said...

Tigger, Kristin and Lori, awesome job all of you!!! Say Kristin, I hope that g-string wasn't TOO tiny! We certainly hope for more for our Sarah!!! lol The white shirt reminded me of one worn by a certain Mr. Darcy in P & P. good tie-in with Colin.

The Pirate & the Princess was certainly the right spot for this rowdy crew of ours today!


Lori said...

Ay yi! I think I had too many grogs since I just realize that I didn't spell a word correctly


Sorry all :)

Val said...

Isn't impertinence the FIRST word you should learn in order to be a romance novelist? LOL! It's only used a little less than "heaving bosom" and "bulge". ROFLOL!

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! These stories were wonderful. Becky, Tigger, Kristin and Lori, you all rock girls! Each story was great and I am so appreciative of the fact that you were brave enough to post.

Just Dreamin' said...

Ladies - Just now had the time to read all of the stories! I love them! My favorite is the one with Adam the stripper! I wish I could write like this! You all are awesome! I should really think about what kind of pirate I would like MY husband to be! HAHA Great job ladies! Great Job! Can't wait for today's post, Hope!

Just Dreamin' said...

Hope - I just wanted to say how much I really enjoy your blog! I also love the camraderie (sp?) with all the other women here! It is nice to see! I look forward to these all week! You all are like my second family! Keep it going!